PS I'm Pregnant
by infinite vertigo
Summary: Dear Neji, today I found out I was pregnant. So please, do hurry back. And don't you dare come back without completing that mission or I will self abort this baby.  Love, Tenten. NejiTen
1. Month 1

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Chapter 1- Month 1**

**Sunday, March 10**

Dear Neji,

You just left for that S-rank mission and I'm already worried about you… But then again, do I need to? After all, you are Hyuuga Neji. Come back soon, okay? I get bored. Sakura, Hinata, and Ino can only amuse me so much. Who knows, maybe I'll go out with Lee a few times…

Okay don't take that seriously. Please don't send him to the hospital like last time.

So today is March 10… and yesterday was my birthday. You decided to be the overachiever you are and schedule to leave ridiculously early this morning so I didn't get to properly thank you for yesterday or even properly say goodbye. I don't remember what I even did—was it a half asleep salute? Probably. But I hope you come back soon. Kick their asses for me, will you?

Guess what Ino and Sakura gave me as a gift yesterday? They left it in front of my house and I found it when I came back from somewhat sending you off…

A pregnancy test.

I'll get around to it later. I doubt it though. Really. I mean, we're not that careless. Luck has always been on my side. Right? Right. And if I were uh. Well… I guess we'd find some way to tell Hiashi together. 'Hey there Hiashi. I'm dating your nephew and he got me pregnant!' I'm sure that's going to go over very well.

Sorry for a short letter but I'm making something. I'm perfecting my culinary skills for when you come back, hopefully soon and perfectly fine. I'd wish you luck, but do you need it? Oh, and the very corner of this letter; see that mark? I kissed it. So kiss it back. Or I'll be sad. You don't want to make your girlfriend sad now, do you?

Love, Tenten

**Tuesday, March 12**

Tenten,

The sooner I leave, the sooner I will be able to come back. Besides, the sleepier you are when I leave, the less you cling onto me. I'm sure you were aware that I wouldn't be able to spend all my time with you when we started dating, correct? But I assure you; I would like nothing more than to be with you right now.

The only reason I sent Lee to the hospital last time was because his hand was under your shirt. Do. Not. Let. It. Happen. Again.

A pregnancy test? If it comes up positive, which I doubt, please do not tell it to Hiashi-sama that way. I'm not sure if he approves of someone from outside the bloodline with someone in the family. I'm sure he'll come around to it.

Shikamaru has informed me that Ino has been spreading rumors about us in the village, and she seems quite giddy about it. Sakura seems to be happy about it as well, and Hinata-sama seems quite confused.

That we are secretly engaged. The three should be still in the village. Perhaps you could find out what this is about?

Naruto tells me Konohamaru is hitting on you. Tell him I'll hit him if he does.

I am not going to kiss a piece of paper, Tenten.

Neji

**Tuesday, March 12**

Dear Neji,

You're so mean! Just kiss the piece of paper! It's not like Naruto's going to call you a paper lover! Well, he might. If he does… tell him that I'm your lover! Not the paper!

Oh… um… the rumor… I confronted Ino about it and she's convinced that I AM pregnant just because I'm throwing up and I was making chocolate covered lemons yesterday. That's normal, isn't it? I told her that even if I was pregnant, the whole engagement thing is iffy because of Hiashi. It's okay, it's died down. But she did have a gorgeous dress…

Which makes me wonder… do you think we have a chance to be together? I mean, I love you and hopefully you know that and I'll do anything to be with you… but there's a rumor in the village that Hiashi's finding a fiancée for you. Some alliance with another noble family… it would be hilarious if it were with Sasuke. But no matter what happens, just know that I love you, okay?

Konohamaru is not hitting on me. Naruto's an idiot. He saw Konohamaru's hand on my butt and thought he was flirting with me. Let's not go into why his hand was there… But it's okay. He walks around with Hanabi a lot… Moegi seems jealous.

Reminds me of you. A girl in each arm. You player.

I'm kidding, you're surprisingly serious and faithful about this, which I'm grateful for. You are perfect in every aspect, Hyuuga.

Do you know how long your mission is going to last? I asked Tsunade-sama about it and she said a year…

Tell me where you are. I've perfected my teleportation jutsu.

Love, Tenten

**Tuesday, March 12**

Dear Neji,

Today I found out I was pregnant. So please, do hurry back. And don't you dare come back without completing that mission or I will self abort this baby.

Love, Tenten.

**Wednesday, March 13**

Tenten,

…

…

…

Are you serious?

Neji

**Thursday, March 14**

Dear Neji,

Yes. I am dead serious. I would not kid about something like this. Haha. Kid. A pun. Clever, aren't I? So all the more reason for you to tell me where you are! I want to visit you… I haven't seen you for ten days and it feels like forever… How's the mission going? I don't want to tell Hiashi alone… but it looks like I have to. I mean, I can't have the baby then go to him with you and tell him…

Okay I'll stop. I'm sorry. I'm nervous and freaked out. I'm trying to wrap my head around this. I love you, I do but… is this really happening? Oh my God. Oh my God. Please come home. I miss you. I need you right now.

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, March 14**

Tenten,

Do not self abort the baby.

I am coming home.

Neji

**Thursday, March 14**

NEJI. DON'T YOU DARE COME HOME. I USE WEAPONS, REMEMBER? THERE ARE PLENTY TO CHOOSE FROM TO KILL MYSELF WITH. IF YOU COME HOME, MY GREETING WILL BE ME IN A POOL OF BLOOD. DO. NOT. COME. HOME. WITHOUT. COMPLETING. THE. MISSION.

**Friday, March 15**

Tenten,

Okay, okay. Don't do anything drastic. Who knows, you'd probably miss anyway. …I'm kidding. Don't take that as an insult to your perfect aim. Your aim is perfectly flawless. I'll try to finish the mission as soon as possible and get back to you. Please… don't do anything. Stay away from cliffs, stairs, and rocks. You fall on them even when you're "normal." Keyword: "normal."

If you are pregnant… I believe Hiashi-sama will have to consent to marriage. Wait a few days, then go talk to him. I'll think of something; maybe I'm allowed to return just for a day then leave again.

I can't tell you where I am. Technically, I'm allowed to. But the area is dangerous and there are enemy nins everywhere. It's just not a good place for you to visit, especially when you're pregnant. When we reach a safe destination I'll tell you where we are.

Take care of yourself. I'm not there to make sure you don't walk into a door or a wall. Refrain from too much physical activity. Don't tire yourself out too much. Relax. And eat food.

Neji

P.S. I said your aim was perfectly flawless. …I think you are too.

**Saturday, March 16**

Dear Neji,

Moron. I always eat food. Fine. I will be safe and not train THAT much; maybe just an hour or two each day. Just by myself; not with Lee, don't worry. Hell, he and Gai have told me they refuse to train with me because I'm pregnant. Is there anyone you'd want me to tell? So far, only Gai and Lee know. …Don't ask how. Let's say… I was careless when I threw out the pregnancy test.

Yes Neji. They dug through my trash.

I think I'm going to talk to Hiashi tomorrow… anything you'd like me to say? Don't come back; I don't want the leader of the ANBU squad to come back because his girlfriend can't talk to his uncle by herself. I'll just be polite and kindly inform him that you knocked me up and I am now pregnant.

Tell me where you are! Don't leave me alone for 8 months… I can deal with going into labor by myself, it's not like I can get you to come back for that, but at least let me visit once. Please? You'll make me sadder. You don't want me to get sad, do you? I'm already depressed because you wouldn't kiss the paper. I ate a whole gallon of ice cream. And then I went out to train.

Hey, do you think the baby will be a girl or a boy? I'm fine with either… I'm going to feel so out of place. In this family, I'll be the only one without Hyuuga eyes…

Love, Tenten

P.S. Who knew? Hyuuga Neji could be sweet. I think you are the most impeccable hot bastard I have ever met.

**Monday, March 18**

Dear Neji,

You haven't written back, and I'm getting worried. I mean, I don't need to be. But I can't help it. I'm worried about you. Please don't tell me you're laying somewhere in a pool of blood… Oh God. If it was like that fight while you were trying to save Sasuke…

No no no of course not. You wouldn't let someone drive two holes through your body. Of course not! Hahaha. Who am I kidding? Of course not of course not of course not.

Please write back.

I really am worried about you.

Love, Tenten

**Wednesday, March 20**

…Neji? Where are you?

…Are you alive? Please write back. I'm starting to get really really nervous. Tsunade can't get in contact with you, her little slugs can't find you, Kakashi and his dogs are no friggen' help…

Please be alive.

**Thursday, March 21**

Tenten,

Don't worry. I'm alive. I'm fine. No arrows went through me. I'm intact.

We had found who we were looking for and tried to get him. Unfortunately, he got away eventually. Don't worry. We'll find him again and catch him. Then I'll come home to you.

Have you told Hiashi yet? I'm sure Hinata-sama would agree to accompany you to talk to him, if you're nervous talking to him one on one. Er… to make you feel better about it… I kissed the right corner of this letter. Satisfied?

I think I might be able to disclose my location to you in a few days.

Tell Lee that the green spandex suit he snuck into my clothes has helped us create a bigger fire for dinner.

Neji

**Saturday, March 23**

Dear Neji,

Okay. I talked to Hiashi. It was the scariest thing I ever had to do, and I took your advice and had Hinata in there with me.

Love, Tenten

**Sunday, March 24**

Tenten,

Only three sentences? That's rather short for you.

…

Are you all right?

Neji

**Thursday, March 28**

Neji-niisan,

Tenten-chan is er… in her bedroom… and won't come out. After the meeting with Father… I'm sure… she'll come out. She's eating. The tray of food I send through her window comes out empty… and she comes out to go to the bathroom… then goes back into her room. Er… please… complete this mission and come back soon.

Tenten-chan takes things quite… seriously.

Hinata

**Thursday, March 28**

Hinata-sama,

What the hell happened in the meeting?

Neji

**Saturday, March 30**

Neji-niisan,

Father told Tenten… to either get rid of the baby or he would… strip you of the Hyuuga name.

Hinata

**Author's Notes: This was an old idea but I realized I still do like it after going through my documents… Thank you for reading, please review!**


	2. Month 2

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Chapter 2- Month 2**

**Tuesday, April 2**

Tenten,

Answer me. I need to know you're still alive. Hinata told me what happened at the meeting. Answer me. Or I'll go crazy. I can't keep waiting for one of your letters. I promise, we will figure something out. I care more about you and our child than the Hyuuga name, honestly. I will talk to Hiashi as soon as possible.

The mission seems to be progressing well; the shinobi that we are supposed to be tracking seems to be slowing down. The nins he's with seem to be getting fatigued. At this rate I should be able to come home within a month. Thanks to Inuzuka's nose we're starting to get closer.

But really, just tell me and I'll come back for you. I promise. I care for you more than I have cared for anyone else. I don't know what I would do if something happened to you. Please be all right. Make the best choice for _you_. Don't think about what I want or the Hyuuga name. If you want to raise this child with me, then I would be more than glad to. And if not… well, it's your choice. All I care about right now is that you are well.

Neji

**Wednesday, April 3**

Tenten,

I swear if you don't answer me I will come back for you right now. If that doesn't work, we're about six miles away from the Akatsuki hideout. Do you want to receive news that I was either exploded or ripped to pieces? No? Then answer me, woman.

Neji

**Wednesday, April 3**

Dear Neji,

Buddy, if you go down, I go down. Remember that before you do anything.

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, April 4**

Tenten,

Okay, I'm alive. I'm glad to see that you have answered me. How are you? Have you been taking care of yourself? Tenten, please, talk to me.

Neji

**Friday, April 5**

Dear Neji,

I've had a couple of days to mull over this predicament. Yes, I've been eating. Hinata, Sakura, and Ino have kept me company and made sure I eat. Lee and Gai-sensei come by and try to cheer me up. Only those five know right now. Hiashi has made it clear to not let this spread.

Please, don't come back. I mean, I miss you and want to see you. But don't disgrace your honor as a shinobi and the leader of an ANBU squad. Complete your mission. I'm strong. I can cope with this.

Tell me what you honestly want.

Love, Tenten

**Friday, April 5**

Tenten,

What I want has nothing to do with this. You're the mother and it's your body. I don't want to sway your decision by any means. I will be happy with whatever you want.

Neji

**Friday, April 5**

Dear Neji,

Hyuuga, you tell me what you want. Now.

Love, Tenten

**Friday, April 5**

Tenten,

…

I want you to keep the baby.

Neji

**Saturday, April 6**

Dear Neji,

Good. Because that's what I want too.

Hinata told me to clear my head of anything, of Hiashi and everyone else and think about what I want. And then when I tried to do that I couldn't do it because I'd keep seeing those damn Hyuuga eyes. And then Sakura told me to flip a coin. One side would be "keep the baby" and the other would be "don't." She told me that in times like these, when the coin is up in midair, I'll realize what I really want because I'll be wishing for one side of the coin to land. And that's when I realized I _want_ to keep this baby. Because I love you and there's no one else I'd rather have a family with.

But sometimes what we want just can't be achieved.

Neji, I know how important the Hyuuga is to you. If you can convince me honestly that you don't give a rat's ass if Hiashi strips you of your Hyuuga name, then I'll truly believe you. But until then, I can't help but think that you're just being the good boyfriend and supporting me.

Whatever happens though, I'll still love you. No matter what.

Love, Tenten

P.S. In case you were wondering… the coin told me to keep the baby too.

**Monday, April 8**

Tenten,

I'm sorry it has taken me a while to reply to you. I've written several drafts; Inuzuka has laughed at me and then attempted to help me compose this letter, yes I have told him. I have deemed him trustworthy enough.

There is no way for me to express my sincerity and my feelings towards you. All I can do is hope that this letter conveys enough of it so that you believe me.

I admit, I do care about the Hyuuga name. After the battle with Naruto during the Chuunin exams, I have developed a new found loyalty and respect for the clan. I now take pride in being a Hyuuga, even if I am still a branch member. I can see why my father sacrificed himself; it doesn't matter if one is a branch or a main member. All that matters is that one is in a clan and because of that he should be willing to die and sacrifice himself, because clan loyalty is one of the most important things to me.

However, the clan is only one of the most important things to me. You are _the_ most important thing to me, no doubt. Think about it. Would I even have started this relationship with you, knowing of the full extent of the consequences, if I did not care for you more than the clan? I can survive without the clan. It is indeed important to have familial ties, but I believe it is even more important to have someone that can act as family, best friend, soul mate, and love interest. And for me, that person is you.

I reiterate: I care for you more than I care for the clan. You are the most important thing to me.

Tell Hinata-sama to talk to Hiashi-sama and make clear of my stance on this situation. Tenten, do not go with her. I do not want you to get caught up in this more than you already are. I know that you are the mother of this child, but this issue is between Hiashi-sama and me. He cannot control me and my actions any longer and I want him to be well aware of that.

Take care. Stay well. Stay positive.

Neji

**Wednesday, April 10**

Neji-niisan,

I have talked to Father as you have requested and, thanks to the help of Sakura and Ino, Tenten was restrained in her room. He does not budge from his position; he still does not approve of your relationship with Tenten. However, he has proposed a compromise. Tenten can have the baby. However, if he or she is born with Hyuuga eyes, as he or she probably will, Father will wish for the baby to be killed. If not, Tenten is allowed to raise the child but you are to cut off all relationships with her and marry a fiancée he has picked out for you a week after the birth of your child. And if you choose to raise the child with her, he will strip you of the Hyuuga name.

Of course, I was not pleased with this. I have argued with him and threatened to leave the family and take Hanabi with me. He originally was going to have you make a decision within a week. However, I argued with him, and he has reluctantly agreed to let you decide when the child is born. It isn't much better, but it does give more time for him to change his mind.

I have not told Tenten yet. I wish you the best; both on your mission and with your child.

Hinata

**Wednesday, April 10**

Dear Neji,

Hinata just sent you a letter. After I saw her leave the post office, I threatened her with blackmail to tell me what happened at the meeting. So that explains the two letters you have received today; aren't you a lucky man?

I want to strangle Hiashi. Please, can I? Okay I won't say anything else since I wasn't supposed to know anyway.

Thank you for your last letter. It's been a while since I blushed and giggled stupidly at a letter. But, you seem to have a tendency to make me do things I'd usually never do. I believe you. I do. Everything you say. I believe every word of it.

How is your mission? I miss you. Take care of yourself. Are you eating well? Sleeping enough? How are you getting along with your team members? Oh my God. I'm sounding like a mother already. Sedate me now.

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, April 11**

Hinata-sama and Tenten,

Thank you very much, Hinata-sama. I am eternally grateful for what you have done. I do not wish for you to get caught up in this mess anymore. This is between Hiashi-sama and me; I will never be able to shed this guilt if either you or Tenten gets caught up or hurt because of this.

Tenten, please, don't kill Hiashi-sama. If anything, that will anger everyone else and you'll have the rest of the clan after you. The mission is going to take longer than anticipated. We did catch the nin that we were after originally, but it turns out he isn't the one responsible for trying to plant the bombs in Konoha. In fact, he doesn't even know what we are talking about with the bombs. Thus, we are now trying to figure out who it really is and we are waiting for Inoichi-san.

Slightly annoying, to be honest. I could kill him right now, but that would be detrimental.

Neji

**Saturday, April 12**

Dear Neji,

I talked to Hiashi today! Before you kill me, please realize that I am happy. To some extent. He hasn't budged on his plan with the baby, but I have earned a bit of respect out of him, which is always a good thing. I sparred with him today and managed to make a tiny, miniscule cut on one of his robes. He was very, very impressed.

To be honest, I am too, but he thinks that I knew I could do it, so just let him think that.

So essentially, I will lay it out for you. Don't think I'm belittling you; this is more for me than for you.

If there are Hyuuga eyes, the baby must be killed because Hiashi's a stupid prick.

If there are not Hyuuga eyes, the baby can live. If you choose to be the father, you will be stripped of the Hyuuga name. If not, it will live, but you will not be able to see it after the first week and you have to marry some pretty little princess.

Hiashi and I had tea! Thought I'd close the letter with that surprising little statement.

Love, Tenten

**Sunday, April 13**

Tenten,

…

You two had tea?

…

What the hell?

…

You two sparred?

…

Gai-sensei and Lee let you?

Neji

**Tuesday, April 15**

Dear Neji,

Sorry for the delay; now that I'm over the depression, I'm back to cooking and cleaning. I'm not going to let Hiashi bring me down. I'm going to keep trying to win his respect so he'll come to his senses. I'm not going to make you make the choice between me or the clan, Neji. That's not fair to you. I can't just stand by and watch you lose a part of your family.

Yes, we had tea! He seemed pretty pleasant, though he didn't talk much. I did most of the talking. But he was polite and didn't mention the words baby, death, or dishonorable.

And I didn't tell Gai-sensei or Lee! They were conveniently sent out on a mission concerning the fountain of youth by Tsunade-sama so I am green spandex free for a while. How's the mission? Any progress?

**Thursday, April 17**

Dear Neji,

This whole not answering thing isn't going down well with me.

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, April 19**

Dear Neji,

Especially now when I'm more emotional than ever. Though, I was never that emotional to begin with.

Love, Tenten

**Sunday, April 20**

Dear Neji,

Answer me. Now.

Love, Tenten

**Monday, April 21**

Baby, you do know that I'm a weapons mistress, right?

**Tuesday, April 22**

Tenten,

Yes, I am well aware that you use weapons. And yes, I'm aware I sent out a blank piece of paper with my name on it. That was to assure you that I am alive and to tide you over until the real letter reached you.

Actually, Tenten, you may not be as free with your tears as other people in the village, particularly Lee and Gai-sensei, you are not, as you would say, emotionless. You cry whenever you see road kill.

The mission is progressing. Slowly, but steadily, and with several obstacles in the way. Now that we have instructions from the Hokage to not kill our target, it will be much more difficult. Inoichi-san extracted the name and town of the shinobi we are after, but as it turns out, he is a missing-nin. Hopefully he's not from the Akatsuki; we don't have enough strength to take one of them down right now.

Neji

_**Tuesday, April 22. First class to Hyuuga residence.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ I apologize for using this method to contact you, but it is the quickest and most convenient way right now._

_ What do you plan on doing with Tenten by fooling her, letting her think she could make you change your mind?_

_Neji_

**Wednesday, April 23**

Dear Neji,

Road kill is very sad stuff, Neji. Have you ever seen a raccoon with its brains smushed out? A squirrel that was in the middle of enjoying a delicious meal before it was killed? Would you like to be that? No. That is why we must pay our respects to the poor animals that have died.

Anyway, really? Do you know anything about the guy, like what kind of techniques he uses to attack and stuff? That should help; each of the Akatsuki is very unique in his way of fighting. Just hope you don't have to find the leader…

I miss you.

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, April 24**

Tenten,

What we have gathered is that it is two people. The person we caught is a spy for one of them, supposedly a redhead that uses puppets to attack and is a puppet himself. The other is a blonde that uses chakra infused clay to detonate everything he sees fit.

No, Tenten, we cannot be road kill because we are much too large to be run over by carriages.

Neji

**Friday, April 25**

Dear Neji,

Hyuuga, go lie down in the middle of a dirt road. I'll ride over you with a carriage. Let's see if you're still alive.

And I hate to break it to you but… those two are dead. Sasori, the redhead, was killed by Sakura and Chiyo-baasan. Deidara exploded himself trying to kill Sasuke. They may be Akatsuki, but they aren't immortal. Except that one guy whose head can still be heard jabbering away under a bunch of rocks somewhere in the land that Shikamaru's clan owns.

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, April 26**

Tenten,

They may not be immortal, but they are Akatsuki.

You know of Nagato, yes? The one who controlled the Pein that wiped out all of Konoha? He died when he used a jutsu to revive all those he killed in Konoha, or so he thought. After Naruto left, it turns out he was still alive and had a bit of chakra left, just enough to revive those in the Akatsuki that had perished. I do not believe his intentions were bad; he just felt overridden with guilt because most of them had died trying to capture Jinchuuriki or as a result of chasing Jinchuuriki. After that, he died. So all ten members are now alive, with Pein being his own person.

You'd think they'd pay respects to their dead leader by behaving well, but evidently not. It turns out Sasori sent one of his spies out to steal all the packs of ramen in Sunagakure.

This is such a waste of time.

Neji

**Sunday, April 27**

Dear Neji,

Let me get this straight.

The top level ANBU squad was sent out on an S-rank mission… to capture someone that stole ramen?

Love, Tenten

**Monday, April 28**

Tenten,

Trust me, we thought that this mission was related to the bombs planted in Konoha. Turns out, it wasn't. So yes. We are now looking for ramen thieves.

I bet the Hokage is laughing her ass off right now.

Neji

**Tuesday, April 29**

Dear Neji,

When I went to check on Tsunade-sama… yeah she was drunk and laughing, chanting "I sent the Hyuuga squad off to find a ramen thief!" If it makes you feel better… technically this is an S-rank mission because it concerns the Akatsuki…

Well, now that the mission's objective is simplified, that means that you'll be able to come back sooner, right? That's always a good thing!

…I have to admit, two months out on a mission to find out it's about the Akatsuki stealing ramen is kind of a bummer.

I know you're thinking this so I'll tell you now. I am dying of laughter as I write this letter to you.

Love, Tenten

_**Tuesday, April 29. First class from Hyuuga residence.**_

_Neji,_

_ I do not understand your last letter. I do not have any ill intentions while approaching Tenten. I would just like to be able to know her a bit better._

_Hiashi_

_**Wednesday, April 30. First class to Hyuuga residence.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ Tell me what you plan on doing with her. Or do you want a Hyuuga version of Uchiha Itachi?_

_Neji_

**Author's Notes: I'm having a lot of fun bolding and italicizing things, haha. I may have forgotten to mention this but Neji and Tenten are about 19 or 20, so this is after Pein destroyed Konoha. I can't bear to have the Akatsuki dead, so that's why I made up a way for them to be alive! Thank you for reading, please review!**


	3. Month 3

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Chapter 3- Month 3**

**Thursday, May 1**

Tenten,

I am pleased to see that the Hokage is so pleased with herself. That makes one.

We've been chasing the Akatsuki around for a week now, with no hints as to where they are. We were beginning to assume that Pein has cast some sort of a jutsu so no one will be able to find the base, until Inuzuka saw a pizza boy and asked him who he'd deliver to in the middle of nowhere in a forest. He answered that he delivered about twenty pizzas to an underground hideout with nine men and one woman in black cloaks with red clouds on them.

You'd think the Akatsuki would at least _try_ to be more inconspicuous.

However, we were not able to locate the base. But now that we know the level of intelligence we are dealing with, we feel much better.

Why am I wasting my time on this mission?

Neji

**Friday, May 2**

Dear Neji,

It humors me greatly every time I get one of your letters. Whenever I go out and check my mail my neighbor, you know the elderly grandma?, goes "oh Tenten-chan, is that from your boyfriend? The one chasing the Akatsuki ramen thieves?" I just about die laughing every time she says that.

Maybe when Nagato revived them he took away the killer instincts… or maybe they're just hungry. You never know Neji. The Akatsuki seem like very complicated people.

Love, Tenten

_**Friday, May 2. First class from the Hyuuga residence.**_

_Neji,_

_ I am surprised by the informality of the tone of your voice in your most recent letter. Never before have you been this disrespectful. Exactly what is this girl to you? You must understand that I am simply trying to protect the clan and its secrets. I do not have anything against Tenten herself, but outsiders may target the half Hyuuga child simply because they may assume it is not as strong. I am trying to protect both of you from the pain of possibly losing a child._

_Hiashi_

**Saturday, May 3**

Tenten,

I don't think they're complicated. I think they're just downright stupid.

Neji

_**Saturday, May 3. First class to the Hyuuga residence.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ With all due respect, Hiashi-sama, Tenten is the most important person to me. I would do anything for her. And considering I am a branch member, wouldn't the child lose the Byakugan upon death? I'm sure the outsiders will be well aware of that. Thus, there is absolutely no reason for you to fear that the secrets of the Byakugan are leaked._

_ Now tell me. Why are you manipulating her?_

_Neji_

**Monday, May 4**

Dear Neji,

Naruto took me out to Ichiraku's today. Just looking at the ramen reminded me of you; I laughed and cried. Laughed because of your absolutely ridiculous mission, cried because I missed you. It was kind of hilarious, to be honest; when I started crying, Naruto completely flipped out and Lee and Gai-sensei just happened to come by and thought Naruto made me cry so, as I am currently writing this letter, Naruto is being chased around Konoha for, I believe, the twentieth time or so. I feel a twinge of guilt, but I do enjoy looking out my window and seeing the three get a good workout.

Kind of embarrassed about crying out in public. But hey, I'm pregnant. Anything goes.

I seem to have developed a liking for flowers… I went to see Ino in her flower shop the other day, and I never realized how lovely orchids are…

Love, Tenten

**Wednesday, May 6**

Dear Neji,

We have to do something about this whole "not getting a letter and freaking out" thing.

Don't deny it. I know you freak out if I don't respond too.

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, May 7**

Dear Neji,

There once was a girl named Tenten.

She wished to have a pet hen.

One day, her boyfriend didn't answer.

She thinks she may have cancer.

Love, Tenten

**Friday, May 8**

Tenten,

Blame the damn Akatsuki.

I wish to kill all ten of them. Slowly. Painfully. In an exceedingly brutal fashion.

Neji

**Friday, May 8**

Dear Neji,

Oh? What has happened now? I am very intrigued; your daily rants of the Akatsuki amuse me to no end. Sakura, Ino, and Hinata ask me too; we're all looking forward to updates on your S-rank mission. It is the main discussion of topic for us and very entertaining to think of the ten most feared missing-nins as bumbling idiots.

I was cleaning my room today and found a leaf you gave me back when we were genin. I remember that it had been a week since we had been put into teams and I had mentioned that I liked ginkgo trees. You saw a leaf by chance and gave it to me. I never told you, but I always had the tiniest of crushes on you.

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, May 9**

Tenten,

We found four of them today, in a pathetic manner. They were in the middle of the road, in broad daylight, in their infamous cloaks. The blonde and redhead, Deidara and Sasori I believe, were yelling at the masked one, Tobi I believed, while the plant man, I believe Zetsu, was juggling bags of ramen. It took them a full ten minutes to stop what they were doing and realize we were there. And then instead of escaping, they stared at us until Tobi greeted us in an obscene manner.

He tried to hug us.

Deidara then formed out of his large clay birds and he and Sasori clambered onto it, while Zetsu yelled something about the Akatsuki needing ramen to thrive before he disappeared into the ground. As we pushed Tobi off, the bird was out of sight and Tobi, trickier than he looks, tried to run into a hole in a tree, meant for a squirrel. He got his head stuck and we attempted to pull him out, but when we touched him, it turned out to be a henge.

Tenten, the only reason I am keeping myself alive is for our child.

Neji

**Sunday, May 10**

Dear Neji,

I am so, so, so sorry you have to deal with that. I apologize for the shaky handwriting; I am trying not to double over in laughter. Look at the bright side; at least there were no casualties! I heard they were extremely strong; Deidara captured Gaara and we all know how strong he is and Sasori killed the Third Kazekage and made him into some puppet! …Can't say much for the other two. I've barely heard of Zetsu and Tobi… well, I just know his specialty lies in escaping.

I am now officially forbidden from training, because you can see the tiniest of bumps. Personally, I think it just looks like I overate. But I am being guarded. There's always someone, usually Lee or Gai-sensei, at my door, and they escort me wherever I go, to make sure I don't go train.

So tell me about the people you're with. I know you're with Kiba, but who else? Do they annoy you? Do you miss me? Don't answer wrong.

Love, Tenten

**Monday, May 11**

Tenten,

Today we accidentally bumped into Pein, the leader. He seemed to be a carrying a bag of chips and stared at us, particularly me, and inquired why my hair was so long. I lost my temper and snapped back at him that there was no reason for his inquiry because he had a female in his organization. To which he blinked and answered, "You mean Deidara? He's a male."

Needless to say, Deidara came out of nowhere and yelled at me for a few minutes before grabbing the chips and leaving. I meant Konan, the blue haired female, but it was entertaining, nonetheless.

Besides Inuzuka, there are two others on the team, Miya and Kiyo. Miya is very skilled at cooking; we remain healthy and full thanks to her. She is also a skilled fighter; she specializes in close range. She is also skilled with weapons, but, obviously, not as skilled as you are. Kiyo is a lazy bum. He is an excellent fighter for long range, but he sleeps most of the time and then complains about the weather. If he weren't so valuable, I would have drowned him by now.

Neji

**Tuesday, May 12**

Dear Neji,

…You bumped into Pein? And Deidara? …You didn't attempt to catch them?

Love, Tenten

_**Tuesday, May 12. First class from the Hyuuga residence.**_

_Neji,_

_ I repeat, I have no intentions of manipulating Tenten._

_Hiashi_

**Wednesday, May 13**

Tenten,

…Shit.

Neji

_**Wednesday, May 13. First class to the Hyuuga residence.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ Just like how I had no intention of learning all the techniques reserved for the main branch only._

_Neji_

**Thursday, May 14**

Dear Neji,

It's so weird to hear you swear… it's like Naruto not saying 'dattebayo.' Rare, but happens occasionally. Speaking of Naruto, he's been avoiding me lately. Looks like he's still feeling the effects of the wrath of Lee and Gai-sensei. I feel kind of bad for him… I think I'll take him out for ramen after I beg Tsunade to send those two off on a mission.

You never answered if you missed me.

Love, Tenten

**Friday, May 15**

Tenten,

Please tell the Hokage to send Shikamaru. We will need his way with words to deal with the Akatsuki when we find them again. Despite their behavior, they are still the same extremely strong shinobi. We cannot rely on our strength alone. However, we figure that if we do not attack, they will not attack. We will attempt verbal negotiation.

God, why can't the town just buy more ramen?

Neji

**Saturday, May 16**

Dear Neji,

Do it yourself, you prick.

Love, Tenten

**Sunday, May 17**

Tenten,

I miss you more than words can describe.

Neji

**Monday, May 18**

Dear Neji,

Shikamaru is on his way; he should be there in a few days. Until then, Tsunade-sama requests, well more like requires, that you guys stay still. She also asks me to ask you to refrain from killing her or her slugs when you return. And then asked if you would like a bowl of ramen, free of charge, as compensation.

So Ino brought up a good question. It's still early now, but do you want to find out the gender of our child beforehand? Ino obviously does, she wants to start shopping, but I don't mind either way. I'm happy with whatever you want.

Can you send me a leaf or a twig?

Love, Tenten

**Tuesday, May 19**

Tenten,

And have you figure out our precise location because we are staying in one place? Not a chance.

It does not matter to me either. Whatever you want, I will be fine with.

Neji

**Wednesday, May 20**

Dear Neji,

Well… I think it would be nice to know but I've always liked surprises. But then again, you've always found solace in knowing… think you can wait five more months?

Come on… not even a blade of grass? Besides, how would I find out your location with a blade of grass? Be reasonable, Neji.

By the way… how come you never end your letters with love? It makes me feel like I'm a fountain spouting love and you're just receiving it.

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, May 21**

Tenten,

One can do a lot with a blade of grass nowadays, especially with the tracking team in Konoha. Especially Pakkun, whom you have access to because I believe Kakashi is in town. I do find solace in knowing, but that is usually for more serious matters. Not that this isn't serious, of course. I just mean for things such as missions. If you wish to know the gender, then by all means, you have my permission and agreement. However, I will wish you luck when you go shopping with Ino. When Inoichi-san was here, he mumbling about how he was going broke because Ino would repeatedly go shopping everyday.

L… l… l… lo… _**love**_, Neji

P.S. I admit, however, I would rather keep it a surprise.

**Friday, May 22**

Dear Neji,

I appreciate the obvious difficulty you had writing that word. I am now pleased. Good job and good choice, Hyuuga. Is Shikamaru there yet? He should be there soon… Ino's mad at you, though. Apparently today was to be their first month anniversary. She says that you should be lucky that I'm pregnant; otherwise she'd go there herself and kill you.

And I love that we're so opposite but we think alike. You're neat, I'm messy. You're calm, I'm… me. Your room is white, mine is all colors of the rainbow. You eat plain foods, I love flavor and spices. You attack in close range, I attack in long range. Your favorite season is winter, my favorite season is summer. And usually, I love being surprised and you love knowing. But I'm glad to see that we'd both rather keep it a surprise.

I'll tell Ino; she'll be slightly even more irritated, but she did say she knew a good place to go unisex baby clothes shopping. Did you realize our one year anniversary is coming up?

Love, Tenten

**Friday, May 22**

Tenten,

Of course I did.

Neji

**Saturday, May 23**

Dear Neji,

Obviously you didn't if you replied that quickly. It's like when you immediately say 'yes' or 'no' when I ask you a question that could endanger your existence. Well, it's okay. I'll forgive you since you were dispatched on such a horrible, grueling mission.

Shikamaru is there, right? Ino told me he was… hopefully your mission will proceed swimmingly now, yes? Speaking of swimming, I remember the first time you took me to the beach. I spent the whole day getting you to put your toe in the water. I don't see why you have an issue swimming; I know you're good at it.

I will save the sappy letter for our anniversary which is, for your information, in three days.

Go outsmart the Akatsuki. It shouldn't be too hard.

Love, Tenten

**Sunday, May 24**

Tenten,

I cannot believe we were scared of this pathetic organization. We saw the immortal one, Hidan, running around today with underpants on his head, chasing his partner, Kakuzu, who was holding rosary beads. As usual, they were in broad daylight in their Akatsuki cloaks. Can these people get any dimmer and more obvious?

Yet again, we forgot to try to catch them or find their hideout by asking them. I suppose we aren't much better.

I don't have a problem swimming. I have a problem taking my shirt off with crazy fangirls within the vicinity.

Shikamaru told me that you and Lee go out on dates frequently.

Explain this now.

Neji

**Monday, May 25**

Dear Neji,

Today I bumped into Sasuke while walking around. Still under strict watch, but they let him walk around town by himself now. He asked me where Sakura was but I blurted out that Itachi was alive by accident. Now he's hounding me for information on him. So if you see him, please tell me about him so Sasuke will get off my back.

No, they are not dates. He's stalking me. He's making sure I don't do any strenuous exercise. I swear, the only thing he'll let me do now is chew my own food. He's driving me crazy; I was almost tempted to tell him that I had a false reading on the pregnancy test so he'd leave me alone, but then I realized he'd make an even bigger deal about that and try to force me to take another one.

No one forces me to pee.

Love, Tenten

**Tuesday, May 26**

Tenten,

Today is our anniversary. We are currently resting and trying to figure out a plan to find the Akatsuki. With Shikamaru here, I can write this letter in peace, knowing that there is a brain among those four.

I cannot imagine not knowing you. Without you, I would never have been able to realize that I had the courage to stand up to Hiashi, like I am now. I always thought that I would forever be submissive and loyal because the clan was the most important thing in my life. But now I see that there are more important things, things that I am willing to let go of the clan for.

Thank you for being with me. You have helped me train in the most terrible of weather with a smile on your face. I cannot count the number of times you have taken care of me at your house or the endless meals that you cook for me. Without you, I, literally, would not have survived Team Gai.

I am so happy to have fallen in love with you.

Neji

**Tuesday, May 26**

Dear Neji,

I have to say… I squealed and giggled like a stupid schoolgirl while reading that. I can't believe I would ever do that, but I did. Even Sakura, Ino, and Hinata did. I'm sorry but they were reading over my shoulder; I was too busy giggling to sense them. They have now dubbed you the "human icecube that melts once a year."

Well, Neji. Here goes.

I still can't believe that I'm with you. You're Hyuuga Neji. One of the most talented prodigies the already talented Hyuuga clan has produced. The first of the Konoha 12 to have advanced to the jounin level. The guy that everyone chases after. And I can't believe you chose me, knowing the risks you'd be facing. Not only Hiashi but possible disapproval from the village, thankfully none. They may have judged you for dating a nobody instead of a somebody, like yourself.

Everyday since I fell in love with you has been so amazing. I remember blushing stupidly at first, wondering if you'd notice me that day aside from the daily training session. But then I remember when I fell in love with you, I no longer cared if you noticed me. I only cared that you were happy and well. I would've swam through lava if it made you smile.

To be honest, I always saw you as a prince. Charming, handsome, brave. I am so glad that you chose me as your princess. I love you, now and forever.

Love, Tenten

**Tuesday, May 27**

Tenten,

If Zetsu's clan is still in the village, burn down every single last remnant.

Including the graves. Set them on fire.

By the way, tell Uchiha I've informed his brother. If even possible, his brother is even more emotionless than he is.

Neji

**Wednesday, May 28**

Dear Neji,

I'm thrilled to see that you are in good spirits, as usual. Met up with the Akatsuki again? You know, you guys should write on post it notes "REMEMBER TO CATCH THE AKATSUKI" and stick them to each other's foreheads so you'll see and remember.

I will be sure to tell Sasuke and I should remind you that you aren't exactly a burning fire of youth and passion. Oh my God I sound like I should be in spandex.

Hiashi and I had tea again! Surprisingly, this time he came over. Luckily my apartment was all tidied up and I had nice china stored away for an event like this. He seemed pretty pleasant; I can't believe he's that much of a prick.

He just asked me about my past and stuff about us, like how long we've known each other and how our relationship is. No worries, I didn't tell him anything embarrassing about you.

You know, I think we might be a bit harsh on him. I admit, I am a bit gullible, but he seemed really… sincere, when talking to me. About how he wished for the best for the child. And he even smiled! I feel so powerful when I get one of you Hyuuga males to crack a smile.

Maybe he's not that bad of a person deep down…

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, May 29**

Tenten,

I am pleased to hear that you and Hiashi had a lovely tea party together.

Neji

_**Thursday, May 29. First class to the Hyuuga residence.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ Please tell me what you plan on doing with Tenten. I know you are not an evil person and you would never intentionally hurt her or the child, which is why I believe that your threats to harm our child are all completely false._

_ I have looked to you as a father figure ever since my father died. Please do not cause me to stop respecting you that way._

_Neji_

**Friday, May 30**

Dear Neji,

I can smell the sarcasm. Yes, we had a lovely tea party. I gave him a nice floppy hat and a white dress and everything. Such a pity you weren't here. I had the perfect outfit for you.

Love, Tenten

_**Friday, May 30. First class from the Hyuuga residence.**_

_Neji,_

_ Tenten is a sweet girl, and after talking to her I am pleased that you have developed a relationship with her._

_ As much as I may wish, I cannot change the clan rules, I am sorry._

_ But please believe me when I say this: I do not enjoying what I am doing right now._

_Hiashi_

_**Friday, May 30. First class to the Hyuuga residence.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ I only hope we will be able to find a way to emerge from this situation with a somewhat normal relationship intact._

_Neji_

**Author's Notes: Quite a few one lined letters; sorry about that! Thank you for reading, please review!**


	4. Month 4

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Chapter 4- Month 4**

**Sunday, June 1. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

Hello.

Itachi

**Sunday, June 1**

Dear Neji,

I can see a bump now! I'd include a picture but you know how awkward I feel taking pictures of myself. There's no way I could take a picture of my stomach. Also if Lee burst in he'd make a huge deal about it and that would be very awkward.

The mission should be almost complete… right? It's been four months.

Four months of…

…Yeah.

Love, Tenten

**Monday, June 2. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

Greetings.

Sasuke

**Monday, June 2**

Tenten,

I can only wish that this mission was almost over.

Even Shikamaru can't get through to these blockheads. He tried to negotiate with Kakuzu, but all he did was demand money and when we gave him none, he scoffed and disappeared.

Please tell the Hokage we need a lot of money. Or a huge net. I saw Tobi chasing a butterfly the other day. We could catch two brainless insects for the price of one.

Neji

**Tuesday, June 3**

Dear Neji,

I asked Tsunade-sama… but she says she has no money left… she used it all on sake…

Personally, I think you should try talking to Sasori. Wasn't he the one that was in charge of the spy, anyway? And he seems to be rather levelheaded. Akasuna no Sasori, right? He was a legend. A prodigy from Suna. Kind of like you. Except you didn't turn evil and make yourself into a puppet, die, then be resurrected, and spend your life stealing ramen.

…Poor Akatsuki.

Love, Tenten

**Wednesday, June 4. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

I wish for you to meet the Akatsuki.

Itachi

**Wednesday, June 4**

Tenten,

I would never steal ramen.

Neji

**Thursday, June 5. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

…I thought you never wanted me dead.

Sasuke

**Thursday, June 5**

Dear Neji,

I have excellent news! I bumped into Sasuke and he looked worried so I sat down to talk to him and stuff since I am such a kind person. He told me that Itachi wanted him to meet the Akatsuki! And since, you know, he and Itachi are happy siblings again, he was trying to think of a way to sneak out of Konoha and to the Akatsuki. Of course, Tsunade would never allow that because she'd have to let him out of the village and return to the Akatsuki, even if it is briefly.

So I was thinking what if Sasuke was sent as part of your mission? That way you four have a reason to go into the Akatsuki hideout and you can talk some sense into those bumbling idiots or just steal the ramen back.

And that means you can come home!

Love, Tenten

**Friday, June 6**

Tenten,

That does seem like an idea that would have a high probability of working.

Please ask the Hokage for me.

Neji

**Friday, June 6. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

If I may inquire, what makes you assume that I wish for your death?

Itachi

**Saturday, June 7**

Dear Neji,

Tsunade-sama is missing… again. Sakura told me she was out of town and left Kakashi in charge of Konoha and Kakashi completely ignored me when I tried to ask him about sending Sasuke. When I told Sakura about sending Sasuke, she got all worried about his life because she thought the Akatsuki would kill him.

It was only after I reminded her that they are now petty little food thieves that she calmed down. But she was still worried about Sasuke.

Humanity annoys me. Save me.

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, June 7. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

I'm not sure if you know this but… the Akatsuki is the world's most dangerous organization composed of the ten strongest ex-nins.

Sasuke

**Sunday, June 8**

Tenten,

Humanity annoys us all, trust me.

While we are waiting for the Hokage's next words, we have set up a camp place. We have a discovered a rather fascinating past time, taking a long vine and tying it then manipulating it using fingers. The first who messes up the pattern loses. It seems like something you would enjoy.

Neji

**Sunday, June 8. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

From the way we act, I really do forget that fact sometimes.

Itachi

**Monday, June 9**

Dear Neji,

…You mean cat's cradle?

Congratulations; you've discovered a game that the world has been playing for hundreds of years. That's the genius boyfriend I love.

Love, Tenten

**Tuesday, June 10**

Tenten,

I have been on this damned ramen-thief-chasing mission for four months. My mental state has deteriorated.

Neji

**Wednesday, June 11**

Dear Neji,

Lies! You just never played cat's cradle before! Well, I'm glad you got exposed to it. You are now on your way to being a normal human. Congratulations! I shake your hand on this passage to normalcy from prodigy-land.

Ooh! There's drama here back in Konoha! You know the owner of Ichiraku's, right? Well, his daughter apparently was caught with Genma! I think Kakashi was walking around late at night and caught them together near the ramen stand! They acted all flustered when they were caught and both denied that they were seeing each other, but it's blatantly obvious. Thought I'd keep you up to date with the gossip!

Tsunade-sama has given the approval. Of course, now Sakura and Ino are after your head. So I warn you now: don't eat anything that is delivered to you as a gift.

Love, Tenten

**Wednesday, June 11. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

I am being sent to infiltrate the Akatsuki with the Hyuuga squad to finish this ramen snatching (really, Itachi, really?) business. I will visit you then.

Sasuke

**Thursday, June 12**

Tenten,

It's about damn time.

We will now move forward and infiltrate the base.

I never thought it would be this easy to take down the Akatsuki.

And thank you for keeping me updated.

Neji

**Thursday, June 12**

Foolish little brother,

I am not too clear on Konoha protocol, but I believe that you revealed some information that was not meant to be revealed to me in your last letter. No worries; I've always wanted to see a member of the prestigious Hyuuga clan in action. Even better would be beating up Deidara and Sasori.

It was not my idea. I was perfectly fine living on delivery pizza. 

Itachi

**Friday, June 13**

Dear Neji,

Friday the thirteenth! I hope this bad luck doesn't deter you guys during your mission… I can just see the ramen being returned to all the villages now! So I'm going to give you a three day pass. I need no letters for the next three days, because I know you will be trying to negotiate with idiots.

Tell me about the Akatsuki though. All I know is that they killed Gaara, destroyed Konoha, and are really strong. I'd love to know what goes on behind the scenes.

I've started thinking about names for our child. If a boy, I like the names Akio and Takeo… of course, there are more. If a girl… I don't know, Hanako or Michiko? I feel I can sit down and write all the names I can think of but until I see our child I won't be able to find the right name.

So Sakura and Ino are talking about a baby shower. Well, not necessarily talking; but I see them whispering and glancing at me and fussing over magazines. Hinata's also been acting strange lately; blushing more often when she speaks to me and avoids baby talk of any sorts. Those three forget just how smart I am.

I will now cut this letter short. I miss you. Teach them a lesson. Some of them are pretty cute, to be honest, so don't ruin their faces, okay? I love you!

Love, Tenten

**Monday, June 16**

Dear Neji,

It has been fifteen minutes since the allotted seventy two hours I gave you. You were supposed to answer fifteen minutes ago.

Love, Tenten

**Tuesday, June 17**

Dear Neji,

I've talked to you about this whole "not answering me" thing. It's not good. For me or the baby.

Love, Tenten

**Wednesday, June 18**

Dear Neji,

God! You and your damn ego! You think you can just walk around and do things whenever you feel like it! Guess what? YOU CAN'T. There are other people in this world, Hyuuga! You can't just take your sweet time and answer me when you feel like it! That's it! I'm leaving!

…

Okay, not really. I love you too much. But seriously. The minute you come back, I'm taking a needle and popping your ego. You need an attitude adjustment.

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, June 19**

Dear Neji,

Today I threw a senbon at Hiashi. It went straight through his eye.

Love, Tenten

**Friday, June 20**

Dear Neji,

Today I died.

Love, Tenten

**Friday, June 20**

Tenten,

You did not do either of those things.

And which of these airheads did you find remotely attractive?

Neji

**Saturday, June 21**

Dear Neji,

It made you answer, didn't it? So? How was it? It's been more than a week without an answer from you. I demand details.

Deidara's kind of cute. Blue eyes are always cute. Sasori's pretty dashing too. I mean, seriously, the guy is thirty five and looks like he's a teen! And Pein has that bad boy type thing going on…

You're going to get angry now, aren't you?

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, June 22**

Tenten,

Do I need to implant mouths on my hands, turn myself into a puppet, and get numerous piercings now?

This mission went surprisingly well. Kiyo the lazy bum is actually quite useful. He has a technique that allows us to be invisible and hides our chakra and so we followed Uchiha into the base.

I can't believe we missed it. It was a huge pit with a ladder leading down and a wooden door with some girly, pink sign that said "Akatsuki" made by Tobi. We reasoned it was Tobi because every other member would gag at the thought of using pink.

Anyway, we entered. Immediately, Kiyo's jutsu was dispelled and so the four of us got ready to fight. Uchiha stood there and called out for Itachi. Immediately, all ten appeared and stared at us. Tobi, the idiot, thought the four of us were other versions of Sasuke. When Deidara told him how much of an idiot he was, he tried to defend himself by saying Pein had about five different copies of himself. Which was true before the resurrection, so I do give him credit. Except Pein's clones looked like him. Uchiha and I look nothing alike. Nothing.

Shikamaru then stepped forward and beckoned towards Sasori who stepped forward as well and asked him to kindly return the ramen. He said they ate them all. Shikamaru said there were at least ten years' worth of ramen missing from the village. Sasori repeated that they ate them all.

The Akatsuki has unimaginable powers and stomach capacities.

We tried to leave, but it turns out that Uchiha and his brother were having some serious bonding time. And thus we were guests in their base for the week, which is why I have not been answering you.

Neji

**Sunday, June 23**

Dear Neji,

You're not allowed to end a letter like that. You slept over at the Akatsuki base for a week. You had a sleepover with the Akatsuki. You have to tell me what happened.

You're still… you know… right…?

Love, Tenten

**Monday, June 24**

Tenten,

You have the stupidest and most irrational fears. Yes I am still straight. It's not like there were only fourteen males there. There was one woman.

Nothing happened. We sat around waiting for Uchiha to leave. He and Itachi spent almost the entire time together, talking and occasionally going out to train or something, and came back in good moods. For an Uchiha, that is. They were inseparable. It would have been heartwarming to see lost brothers reunite except that I wanted to get back and that it was Uchiha. I witnessed the weird finger poke Itachi does first hand.

I will now give you a brief biography of each of the ten members. In case you are wondering, we have begun the trip back; we are resting currently. We should be back before the end of the month.

Sasori is the mastermind behind the ramen-napping. He said that after dying and being brought back to life, he is now human, which explains why he craves ramen. He does have a puppet body, but finds it too much of a hassle to use it now that the Akatsuki is no longer blood thirsty. He seems decent; doesn't talk much, but when he does he has something interesting or amusing to say.

Deidara, his partner, was the executor of the ramen-napping plan. Still likes to blow things up. Still arrogant. Still crazy. Still hates Uchiha. Spent the entire time glaring at him. Still hasn't forgiven me for assuming that I referred to him as a woman. I hope that idiot blows himself up again. His hair is dry. He needs to use conditioner or something.

Tobi is… Tobi. That is all.

Itachi is surprisingly pleasant. I expected a lot more of the man who singlehandedly slaughtered the Uchiha clan, even though it wasn't for what we all initially thought it was for. Still, he is very peaceful and pleasant to talk to. Seems the most normal in this crowd of misfits.

Kisame is his partner. Contrary to popular belief, he is not part fish. He enjoys killing, which I found surprising, since he usually isn't that violent. Turns out it is because he fearfully respects Itachi, who only attacks, much less kills, when necessary.

Hidan is the religious zealot. Spent the entire time trying to convert me. Converting meant cutting my arm off. I continuously refused. He needs to brush his teeth and put a shirt on.

Kakuzu looks like a mutant rag doll. He makes delicious spaghetti, however.

Zetsu does resemble an aloe vera plant. However, he continued to rant about how Naruto called him that. I assume being called aloe vera is not a very pleasant name. He admitted that when it rains, he has to close the two leaves; otherwise his head gets swollen. I found that fact amusing and convinced Kiyo to try it. Turns out he did swell up. Unfortunately, Kiyo may now be crippled for the rest of his life.

Konan is the female I was talking about. She is very motherly; I can tell she keeps everyone in line. She makes excellent food. Not as good as yours, of course. I'll stop talking about her now.

Pein is… a lot denser… than I had imagined. I imagined a lot from the leader of the Akatsuki. He is very spacey. He often spaces out during conversation unless it is a very engaging conversation. However, he is the one that destroyed Konoha. I am sure he has many positive aspects, including his strength. However, holding conversations is definitely not his forte.

That is it for a brief introduction to the Akatsuki. As for how they are as a whole, imagine being in the high school. In the cafeteria. Look outside. Do you see the group of kids that are doing drugs? Yes.

Now look past them at the eccentric group of kids that are arguing with each other, making flower headbands, trying to hug people, and rolling around in the grass.

That is the Akatsuki.

Neji

**Tuesday, June 25**

Dear Neji,

…

All images of a cool, mysterious group have vanished. I should alert this to the Akatsuki fanclub… yeah, there's an Akatsuki fanclub. They fawn over all the members and curse at Konan because, so they think, she sees all of them shirtless. It is quite pathetic.

And um… I know Hiashi isn't the best thing to talk about in letters but he showed up at my house today, apologized randomly, and left.

I… don't know what this means?

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, June 27**

Dear Neji,

Tsuande-sama told me you were back. She said that your squad was seen entering Konoha last night. So why have you not come greeted me yet?

Love, Tenten

**Friday, June 28**

Tenten,

I am, indeed, back. We arrived back last night. I originally intended to go to your house, and demand that you let me in whether you were awake or not. However the minute I stepped into Konoha, I was abducted by my own clan members.

Hiashi-sama has locked me in my room in the Hyuuga manor. I have been quarantined.

I am not allowed to speak, see, or contact you.

Bullshit.

Neji

_**Friday, June 28. To Hiashi's room.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ I. Want. To. Kill. You. Right. Now._

_Neji_

**Saturday, June 29**

Dear Neji,

Poor Hinata got a scare when I opened the door to give her my note. I must've looked ghastly, angry, or crazy. Probably all three.

_Tell the old man I will voodoo him._

Love, Tenten

_**Sunday, June 30. To Neji's room.**_

_Neji,_

_ It is wonderful to see you again, as well._

_Hiashi_

**Author's Notes: I feel about half of the words in this chapter were concentrated in two letters… sorry about that. I think this chapter is also shorter than the other three; I'll try to make up in the next chapter. Now that Neji is back, I am having a bit of writer's block as to how to make things interesting besides the whole Hiashi drama. I would love to hear any ideas you have! Thank you and please review!**

** The whole Neji being quarantined thing and Hinata delivering the notes is grunty07's idea; thank you so much!**


	5. Month 5

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Anime Freak456- You guessed it, haha. I was surprised by your review… actually, I'm always kind of dumbfounded when people accurately guess something in the next chapter… I'm so predictable…**

**Chapter 5- Month 5**

**Monday, July 1. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

It was nice seeing you. I hope to see you again in the future.

Please tell Deidara to never attempt to blow me up again, or there will be no reviving jutsu for him this time.

Sasuke

**Sunday, July 2. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

Yes, I too was pleased to see you. I am sure we will be able to see you again. If you need anything, please do not hesitate to ask. I promise you: we are able to do anything.

I would inform him, but Deidara avoids me and glares at me. I have barely shared three words with him.

Itachi

**Sunday, July 2**

Dear Neji,

I've calmed down, after being tied down by Hinata, Sakura, and Ino. Explain this to me. In detail. Now.

Love, Tenten

P.S. Happy early birthday! I was hoping to celebrate with you but a certain old MOLE had to get in the way.

**Monday, July 3**

Dear Neji,

Happy birthday! For real, this time. Now you're 20!

You're a man!

And you're grounded.

Hyuuga Hiashi is an incredibly powerful man to ground Hyuuga Neji.

I love you. I always will. I don't care if Hiashi cuts my hands off. Or rips my brain out. Or kills me. I'll always, always, always love you.

Love, Tenten

**Monday, July 3**

Tenten,

Thank you. I also thank you for your gift. I have missed your home cooking; your meal was the best thing I have eaten in months. In fact, I was eating so voraciously that I almost ate your second gift.

I am not one for jewelry, but I do appreciate the bird pendant on the thin silver chain.

Putting it in sushi was extremely clever. And life threatening.

Hiashi-sama has quarantined me in my room until I make a decision. The most freedom I am allowed is walking around the house and training outside only under the watch of another main branch member or Hiashi-sama himself.

The entire clan has been told to make sure I am never unsupervised if not in my room. A jutsu of some kind has been cast; a henge is impossible. Trust me, I have tried every possible way to sneak out.

This clan is seriously messed up.

Neji

**Tuesday, July 4**

Dear Neji,

I assume that you heard me trying to break into Hyuuga manor yesterday. I stood at the door, banging at the damn thing for an hour, screaming at the top of my lungs. I considered pretending to go into labor, but it'd be three months early. And I would've been in serious trouble if they actually whisked me off to the hospital which, as kind people, they should and would have done.

I'm going crazy. You've been gone for four months on a lame mission and I've been pregnant, dealing with the first half of this by myself. Now you're back and all that separates us is a huge wooden door and an old man. This. Is. Not. Fair.

Love, Tenten

**Wednesday, July 5**

Tenten,

Go out. With Hinata-sama and the others. And Uchiha, Naruto, Lee, even. I can't go out but I don't want you to forcibly quarantine yourself. You need air and sunshine. I promise you, _I am fine._ Please. I've heard that you've been refusing to go out again, only eating enough to keep the baby well.

Neji

**Friday, July 7**

Dear Neji,

I decided to listen to you and went out yesterday with everyone. It was fun, actually. We went to the park, watched a magic show, ate cotton candy, all that stuff. Played those rigged fair games. Got Lee to win me a giant squirrel. I think I smiled and laughed more yesterday than I have for a week now. It would've been more fun with you though…

So afterwards, we sat down together and talked about this whole quarantine business. I think you would like to know that everyone thinks Hiashi is an old sack of miserable, lonely bones. We've tried to think of some way to bust you out of that miserable mansion, but we couldn't.

I miss you so much more than words can ever describe.

Love, Tenten

**Friday, July 7. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

I need a favor.

Sasuke

**Saturday, July 8**

Tenten,

I'm glad that you had fun. This sounds pathetically cliché, but I honestly mean it. I'll be content as long as I know you are genuinely happy.

Neji

**Saturday, July 8. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

Ask, and I am sure we can accomplish it.

Itachi

**Sunday, July 9**

Tenten,

I will be trying to persuade Hiashi-sama. Do not expect an answer for a while. I promise you, I am fine. I am in Hyuuga manor. Though they will not let me set foot outside the Hyuuga property, they will not kill me. The worst that will happen is that they break my limbs and I will remain in bed for the rest of my life.

Neji

P.S. Even if that happens, I will find a way to contact you.

**Sunday, July 9. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

Hyuuga Neji got his girlfriend, Tenten, pregnant. However, Hyuuga Hiashi is forbidding them to see each other, so Hyuuga is currently quarantined in his own room.

I need the Akatsuki's help to break him out. He hasn't seen Tenten since he left for that mission (I still can't believe you're part of an organization that stole ramen) four months ago. He still hasn't seen his child. Tenten's going crazy.

Sasuke

**Monday, July 10**

Dear Neji,

Okay; I wish you luck. I hope you the best. Say, what do you want to eat? I need to keep myself occupied… I await your next letter anxiously.

Love, Tenten

**Monday, July 10. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

Of course.

Itachi

_Monday, July 10. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_My brother has asked me for help. We need to break Hyuuga Neji out of his quarantined room to see his girlfriend and his unborn child._

_Monday, July 10. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Why the fuck are we communicating through letters? We're sitting in the same damn room! Except Sasori, puppet boy is probably off making a fuck doll._

_Monday, July 10. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Shut up. Or you'll wake up in a pile of wood shavings. I'll give you pain that even you can't enjoy._

_Monday, July 10. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Go fuck a screwdriver, scumbag!_

_Monday, July 10. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

…_So are we helping my brother or what?_

_Monday, July 10. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Leader-sama, leader-sama! Tobi thinks we should invest in talking lessons!_

_Monday, July 10. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Shut up, Tobi! We know how to talk, un! Just because no one wants to talk you doesn't mean we don't know how! _

_Monday, July 10. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_LEADER-SAMA! SENPAI IS BEING MEAN TO TOBI!_

_Monday, July 10. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Itachi, we will assist your brother. Tell him it while take us a while. _

_Monday, July 10. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Tell him we want more ramen too._

**Tuesday, July 11**

Dear Neji,

I'm not expecting a reply or anything, but I felt like writing to you anyway.

I hope everything's okay there in Hyuuga world.

I miss you. I love you. I can feel the baby kicking… he or she reminds me of you every day.

Ino and I are going baby clothes shopping!

Save me.

Love, Tenten

_Tuesday, July 11. Zetsu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Whoever found it funny to cover me in dirt, fertilizer, and water me, is going to die. I hope you all enjoyed the raspberries in your oatmeal this morning. They were poisoned._

_Tuesday, July 11. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Fuck you, plant man._

_Tuesday, July 11. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Hey… seriously… my brother needs our help…_

_Tuesday, July 11. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Whoever used Samehada as a sushi knife… you, man, are stupid. Seriously. What part of a huge bandaged knife the size of me screams sushi knife?_

_Tuesday, July 11. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Thanks for the poisoned berries, Zetsu, un. Tobi stole mine so now he's doubly poisoned._

_Tuesday, July 11. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Help me help my brother or I'll Mangekyou Sharingan you all for much longer than seventy two hours._

_Tuesday, July 11. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

…_So what's the plan?_

**Wednesday, July 12**

Tenten,

Hiashi-sama has not budged from his decision.

It is very frustrating.

Neji

**Thursday, July 13**

Dear Neji,

Looks like we know where you got it from…

Love, Tenten

**Friday, July 14**

Tenten,

What did you just say to me?

Neji

**Saturday, July 15**

Dear Neji,

I said nothing, you idiot! I haven't seen you for four months now!

Love, Tenten

**Sunday, July 16**

Tenten,

I thought you didn't get your period while you were pregnant.

Neji

**Monday, July 17**

Dear Neji,

Oh, now you're accusing me of mood swings? Go look up pregnancy, moron! Jesus Christ, I'm sick of acting perfectly fine! I miss you like crazy and I want to see you but I can't! You're not the only one that's having issues with this, okay?

Love, Tenten

**Monday, July 17. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

The Akatsuki is now planning.

They should be able to see each other next month.

Itachi

**Tuesday, July 18**

Tenten,

…

I'm sorry.

Neji

**Tuesday, July 18. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

Are you serious? A whole month? By that time I would've done something stupid like confess to Sakura. I thought you guys could do anything.

Sasuke

**Wednesday, July 18. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

Oh? Does my foolish little brother require assistance in his love life as well?

Itachi

**Wednesday, July 18**

Tenten,

…

Hello?

Neji

**Thursday, July 19. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

Oh, God no. Please. No.

Sasuke

_Thursday, July 19. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_I woke up this morning to see Tobi use one of my bras as ear warmers. He seems to think he has cat ears. Which one of you complete MORONS gave him that idea?_

_Thursday, July 19. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_I announce a spa day for Konan. Everyone, pamper to her needs. Now._

_Thursday, July 19. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Are you friggen' serious? Do you know how much that's going to cost?_

_Thursday, July 19. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_SOMEONE. ANSWER. ME._

_Thursday, July 19. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Kakuzu. Pay for a spa day for Konan or pay for nine funerals?_

_Thursday, July 19. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_I'll start making calls._

_Thursday, July 19. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Guess Sasuke isn't getting any help just yet._

_Thursday, July 19. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_EVERYONE, RUN, UN. TOBI SAID HE HAD A SURPRISE AND GAVE ME A DETONATOR. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES, UN!_

**Friday, July 20**

Tenten,

This is not funny.

Neji

**Friday, July 20. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

I need help.

Uchiha

**Saturday, July 21**

Dear Neji,

Your face is not funny.

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, July 21. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

You're not quarantined to your room by a crazy uncle.

I'll help you if you find out what's up with Tenten.

Hyuuga

**Sunday, July 22**

Tenten,

Okay, just tell me. What did I do wrong?

Neji

**Sunday, July 22. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

Easy enough. She saw Hinata throw away a bento box that looked suspiciously like the ones she gave you. She thinks you threw away the food she made you.

Itachi is threatening to help me with my love life. What do I do?

Uchiha

**Monday, July 23**

Tenten,

I did not throw away your food.

Hanabi wouldn't shut up about something so I threw one of the boxes at her. Unfortunately, she seemed to like it and so she ran off with it.

I'm not sure what happened next, but I heard that she was trying to raise a small frog of some sort in that. It died. So it began to smell bad and she threw it out.

If you do not believe me, ask someone to retrieve the box.

It is not blue, like the recent ones you give me. It is green. And old and moldy.

Neji

**Monday, July 23. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

You have a life?

Hyuuga

**Tuesday, July 24**

Dear Neji,

I am satisfied.

So today, I was walking around Konoha. Don't worry, Lee was with me. I didn't walk too much. It's starting to become a pain to walk…

So anyway, I saw Shikamaru for the first time since you guys came back. Apparently Ino dragged him into her apartment and kept him locked up in there. He looked pretty happy when I saw him… that's a first. Looks like Ino's off your back; she didn't mention you at all during lunch. So now all you have to do is watch out for Sakura; isn't that great? You might get to live!

Tsunade-sama told me that she heard about what Hiashi is doing. She said she'll try to talk some sense into him.

All of Konoha is against Hiashi now… is he seriously going to keep this up?

Love, Tenten

**Tuesday, July 24. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

Shut up. If having a life means being able to walk around, yes, I do have a life. How about you?

Itachi has threatened to tell Sakura how I feel about her.

I cannot kill him. Trust me, I know I can't. I've tried. He came back to life.

What do I do?

Uchiha

**Wednesday, July 25**

Tenten,

Hiashi has just barred my windows.

Yes, he is going to keep this up.

Neji

**Wednesday, July 25. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

…What do you mean, how you feel about Sakura?

Zetsu just materialized into my room, looked around, and left. Care to explain?

Hyuuga

**Thursday, July 26**

Dear Neji,

Are you serious? What kind of metal did he use for the bars? The kind that depletes chakra? Because that would just be rude. It's one thing to keep you caged up in there, another to debilitate you.

Did you get the food I've been sending to you?

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, July 26. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

I like her, you simpleton.

Uchiha

**Friday, July 26**

Tenten,

Yes, I have been receiving your food. Trust me, it's the only thing I can eat. You and your food are literally the only things keeping me alive. And Hinata-sama's occasional companionship.

How are things between her and Naruto?

Neji

**Friday, July 26. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

…So can I tell her?

Hyuuga

_Friday, July 26. Zetsu to all in the Akatsuki._

_I popped into the Hyuuga's room. __**The way Itachi relayed Sasuke's message made it sound the place was a prison cell.**__ I'd love to be locked in a room at the Hyuuga manor._

_Friday, July 26. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_That's because you can materialize in and out of there. Any ideas as to how to get him out?_

_Friday, July 26. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_These letters have been very child friendly. Where's Hidan?_

_Friday, July 26. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Does it bother anybody else all the ink and paper we're wasting when we could just talk? I swear, we're all, literally, in neighboring rooms right now._

_Friday, July 26. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Okay I just threw Tobi into a pit of lions, un. And Kakuzu, would you rather pay for paper or water, un? And other medical expenses, un?_

_Friday, July 26. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Sixteen days since this mission has been announced. And all we've done is visit the kid's room. Great._

_Friday, July 26. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Mission?_

_Friday, July 26. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_I expect we will receive some kind of payment, yes._

_Friday, July 26. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

…_So let's start planning this thing then, damnit!_

_Friday, July 26. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_SENPAI, SENPAI, SENPAI! TOBI FED A DOLL OF YOU TO A LION! THE LION LIKED IT SO MUCH THAT TOBI TOLD HIM TO WAIT IN YOUR ROOM! They also seem to like Sasori-san's puppets…_

_Friday, July 26. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Danna, un? Would you like to do the honors?_

_Friday, July 26. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Nah, Deidara. I think we should do it together._

_Friday, July 26. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Tobi has been a bad boy…_

**Saturday, July 27**

Dear Neji,

You always know what to say to make me smile.

Naruto and Hinata have been proclaimed the "sweetest" couple in Konoha. Surprisingly, Naruto's not all hyper and stubborn when he's with Hinata. He's all sweet and gentle and spoils her so much. It's really sweet to watch, actually… of course, you'd puke.

Love, Tenten

_**Saturday, July 27. Uchiha to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

I like you.

Sasuke

**Saturday, July 27. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

Ha! I did it before you could! I sent her a letter!

Uchiha

**Sunday, July 28**

Tenten,

…Is that why she blushes and faints whenever I mention Naruto?

Neji

**Sunday, July 28. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

I probably should've mentioned that Sakura is out on a mission with Tsunade. She'll be back early next month.

I hope for your sake that Ino doesn't read your letter.

Hyuuga

**Monday, July 29**

Dear Neji,

Today, a green plant with a black and white human in it popped up in my house and demanded food, then left.

Perhaps you can explain this?

Love, Tenten

**Monday, July 29. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

…What are the chances of that?

Uchiha

**Tuesday, July 30**

Tenten,

…Don't think too much of it.

He's harmless. I know for a fact that he is harmless.

Neji

**Tuesday, July 30. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

About a hundred, considering Ino takes in Sakura's mail and she'll undoubtedly check anything you send.

Please tell Itachi to tell Zetsu to stop popping up everywhere. Tenten's killed every plant she's set her eyes on.

Hyuuga

**Wednesday, July 31. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

…Help me…

Uchiha

**Wednesday, July 31**

Itachi,

Please tell Zetsu to not pop up in Konoha.

Neji seems to find it irritating, Tenten has a tendency to kill anything with leaves, and I'm not sure Konoha has forgiven him for the infamous pollen storm when he left.

Sasuke

**Wednesday, July 31**

Dear Neji,

Last night, Hinata awoke me by banging on my door. Hinata, sweet little Hinata, disturbed me, pregnant me, from my nightly slumber.

She told me Hiashi has arranged for three absolutely beautiful women to meet you.

Love, Tenten, your _**girlfriend.**_

**Author's Notes: Personally, I am impressed that I've updated already. Looks like dropping social studies and Spanish has given me a much lighter homework load… I'm running out of ideas to differentiate between letters, so I've decided that names are quite useful. Sorry if all the letters between different people is confusing! Thank you for reading, please review! **


	6. Month 6

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Chapter 6- Month 6**

**Thursday, August 1**

Tenten,

Hiashi-sama has informed me that I will be meeting my possible fiancée today.

Rest assured; I will refuse to meet them.

Neji

_**Friday, August 2. To Hiashi's room.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ It was nice to talk to someone besides Hinata-sama and you. They were all pleasant._

_ They were not Tenten. I refuse to marry any of them. If you like them so much, please feel free to marry them yourself. You have my blessing._

_Neji_

**Friday, August 2. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

HELP. ME. PLEASE.

Uchiha

**Saturday, August 3**

Dear Neji,

Hinata and I had tea today (I have something about having tea with Hyuugas, yes.) I was pleased to hear that you glared at all of them and answered curtly.

Good boy. Very good boy.

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, August 3. Hyuuga to Uchiha**

Uchiha,

Before I tell you when Sakura comes back, I will first laugh at you and your desperation. I find this entirely amusing.

Sakura is due to be back today. You will hear an answer soon.

Hyuuga

_**Saturday, August 3. Haruno to Uchiha.**_

Sasuke-kun,

…?

…

…?

Sakura

**Saturday, August 3. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

Any progress?

Sasuke

_Saturday, August 3. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_It would be nice if Hyuuga could see his girlfriend before she gives birth._

_Saturday, August 3. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_What the fuck? She's pregnant?_

_Saturday, August 3. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Does anybody listen to me…?_

_Saturday, August 3. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Okay, well, since it's a family, I suppose we'll start planning now. Let's have the brat blow up the Hyuuga manor._

_Saturday, August 3. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Danna, un. You make it sound like that much clay is so easy to come by, un._

_Saturday, August 3. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Can't Pein-sama destroy the place?_

_Saturday, August 3. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_I certainly could, but I would have to destroy all of Konoha. Again. Konan, can you build a separate, identical house and move everyone except Hyuuga Neji over?_

_Saturday, August 3. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yeah, Pein, because all the Hyuugas will just follow me as I direct them into a paper house._

_Saturday, August 3. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_I could trap them all in a water bubble. Let them free once the Hyuuga kid returns._

_Saturday, August 3. Zetsu to all in the Akatsuki._

_How about a method that doesn't involve killing the strongest clan in Konoha or having that clan kill Neji when he comes back?__** Yeah seriously. Too many Hyuugas to eat.**_

_Saturday, August 3. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Itachi, please tell your brother we are trying our best. But it will still take a while._

**Sunday, August 4. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

Of course.

Itachi

**Sunday, August 4**

Tenten,

I would like sushi.

Neji

**Sunday, August 4. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

If she sent me a letter containing '…? … …?' what should I do then?

Uchiha

**Monday, August 5**

Dear Neji,

So demanding. But okay; only because I love you. Don't expect me to just drop everything and make you whatever you want to eat though. This is a special circumstance.

Did you hear? Sasuke sent Sakura a letter saying he liked her! She's totally flipping out right now; she's scared it's some counterfeit sent as a joke. She managed to compose a cool and controlled letter but she's freaking out. She looks like she's going to explode with happiness… if it really was Sasuke, tell him what to do, okay?

Love, Tenten

**Monday, August 5. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

Tenten tells me Sakura is having a hard time believing it is true. Take her out on a date. Tell her the truth.

Don't reply with some "I don't want to." Man up, Uchiha. Don't be a chicken like your hair.

Hyuuga

**Sunday, August 6**

Tenten,

It is, indeed, true. Sakura should be receiving a date request from the Uchiha soon.

Thank you for the sushi. It was delicious. Hiashi-sama has recently been talking to me an hour a day; rarely does he mention the fiancées or you. I'm not quite sure what we talk about. But an hour goes by, somehow.

Neji

_**Sunday, August 6. Uchiha to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

I'm not sure how to say this so…

You, me, out. Tomorrow at noon.

Sasuke

_**Sunday, August 6. Haruno to Yamanaka.**_

Ino,

INOOO. INOOO. INOOO.

SAVE ME. SAVE ME. SAVE ME.

SASUKE-KUN ASKED ME OUT. OUT. DATE. OUT! DATE! SASUKE-KUN!

INO TO SAKURA. NOW.

Sakura

**Monday, August 7**

Dear Neji,

Maybe you heard Sakura and Ino running through Konoha screaming. But if not, that's what happened. Hinata and I watched from my window as they ran around with bags of makeup and clothes. It was so amusing, but I'm so happy for her. She's been in love with chicken boy forever, even while he had his little rebellion. Make sure Sasuke doesn't mess it up, okay?

Did Hiashi tell you he's going to come over? Well he is. Tomorrow. I'm nervous.

Love, Tenten

**Tuesday, August 8**

Tenten,

How was your tea party?

Neji

**Tuesday, August 8. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

Thank you for your advice. I listened to you, actually. And it worked.

Uchiha

_**Tuesday, August 8. Haruno to Uchiha.**_

Sasuke-kun,

Thank you for that incredibly sweet date yesterday. Really, I didn't even know that you knew what a picnic was. I didn't even know that you knew all of my favorite foods, especially strawberries.

I'm still blushing.

Sakura

_Tuesday, August 8. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Seriously. Any ideas?_

_Tuesday, August 8. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_ATTENTION! TOBI HAS AN IDEA!_

_Tuesday, August 8. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Ignore him, un. He had too much sugar today; ate all the marshmallows in all five boxes of Lucky Charms, un._

_Tuesday, August 8. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_WE SHOULD DIG A HOLE UNDERGROUND FOR NEJI-SAN TO ESCAPE IN!_

_Tuesday, August 8. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yeah, ignore him, un._

_Tuesday, August 8. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Everybody, go find a shovel._

_Tuesday, August 8. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_You cannot be serious, Pein-sama, un…_

_Tuesday, August 8. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Deidara, please go retrieve your shovel._

_Tuesday, August 8. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Are you…_

_Tuesday, August 8. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Shut up, brat. Go find your shovel._

**Wednesday, August 9**

Dear Neji,

I need to teach you how to not make scathing remarks. Hiashi and I did not just have a tea party yesterday. I will tell you that we also had a dango party. So there.

He only stayed for about an hour… we talked about missions and world politics… of course, we didn't talk much about the second since I don't exactly know what's going on outside of Konoha due to forced confinement.

Hey look, we're both forcefully confined!

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, August 10**

Tenten,

I never imagined Hiashi-sama as much of a partier.

Neji

_**Thursday, August 10. From Hiashi's room.**_

_Neji,_

_ Tenten seems like a sweet girl. She would be an excellent mother._

_Hiashi_

**Friday, August 11**

Dear Neji,

Trust me; your imagination isn't that off. Hiashi doesn't dance around randomly, sorry to burst your bubble.

It's weird being pregnant… looking down and seeing a huge stomach instead of the floor…

My eavesdropping skills have informed me that my baby shower is to be tomorrow.

You think I could pull off a surprised face?

Love, Tenten

**Friday, August 11**

Tenten,

Not a chance.

Neji

_**Saturday, August 12. To Hiashi's room.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ I am pleased that we find one thing to agree on._

_Neji_

**Saturday, August 12. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

In the evening of the fifteenth, please make sure Hyuuga Neji is prepared to escape.

Itachi

**Sunday, August 13**

Dear Neji,

I think they were prepared for me to know. But I did manage a surprised face. After they dumped cold water on me. No worries though; Tsunade reassured me that it would do no harm for the baby. And thus, another reason to kill Lee has been deemed invalid.

It was fun though! Food, presents (Lee wishes to match our child. Yes, he had a green spandex suit custom made.), and just general relaxation. It's been a while since I've been able to spend a whole day not being confined or watched by someone and to be with everyone and have fun. Of course, it would've been more fun with you… watching you sulk at gatherings was always my favorite thing to do.

Love, Tenten

**Monday, August 14**

Tenten,

I'm glad you had fun; I was getting worried about how you were coping with all this.

Neji

**Tuesday, August 14. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

Tomorrow night the Akatsuki will kidnap you and deliver you to Tenten's house. You will return during the sixteenth.

Do not ask how, when, where. You will do as I say.

Uchiha

**Wednesday, August 15. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

Since when do I listen to you?

Thank you.

Hyuuga

**Wednesday, August 15**

Tenten,

It is impossible to get out of here.

I have tried every possible way.

There is no way out.

Neji

**Wednesday, August 15**

Dear Neji,

I guess that means I'll be seeing you tonight?

Love, Tenten

**Wednesday, August 15**

Tenten,

Expect me around eight.

Neji

**Thursday, August 16. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

I heard from Sakura who heard from Hinata that Neji, well, the real Neji, is now missing from his room.

Thank you.

Sasuke

**Friday, August 17**

Dear Neji,

It was amazing to see you again. Really. I almost forgot that you were real, I swear, I thought you were some figment of my imagination that I chose to fall in love with… dinner, movie, everything was perfect. I wish it lasted longer; I miss you like crazy right now. Lying together in bed with the baby… I thought my face was going to break from smiling so much but it's still intact, so that's good. I love you, so so so much. I hope you always remember that.

You never told me though… how did they get you out?

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, August 18**

Tenten,

I reciprocate your feelings; I can only wish that I could have stayed longer. Hiashi-sama has not suspected anything yet.

That night, after my last letter to you, I sat in my room, waiting for them to appear. I was expecting a wall to crash down, the ceiling to come off, or at least the door opening and one of them ready with a henge to convince everyone that I was still there.

Well, someone popped out of the floor. Deidara, to be precise. He told me an escape tunnel was ready under one of the tatami mats.

I thought they were joking. The Akatsuki, the infamous, deadly Akatsuki, dug me a tunnel to get me out. I think I stared at him a good ten minutes before he got irritated and dragged me down himself.

The tunnel, however, was big enough so that we could walk without bending. The tunnel was lined with some kind of metal, so walking was easy and no dirt was there. It went all the way to a few yards away from your front door; it was perfectly concealed both by your house and in my room.

I don't know whether to be impressed by a dirt tunnel or not.

I asked them how they did it and Deidara told me that all ten of them dug the tunnel; it took them a while, and Kakuzu bought enough metal to line the entire thing.

…I was expecting some kind of jutsu; I really can't imagine the ten of them digging a tunnel. I am thankful, but seriously… a tunnel?

As for how to keep suspicion from being arisen, I saw Tobi and Hidan run past me with a huge life sized, hurriedly sewn doll of me.

I didn't bother asking.

Neji

**Saturday, August 18. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

Please thank your brother for me. But really, a tunnel? And a doll of me?

You have my deepest gratitude as well. Truly, thank you.

Hyuuga

_Saturday, August 18. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_We dug a fucking tunnel for the kid. Spent a day sewing a doll of him. And what do we get? FUCKING TWELVE PACKS OF RAMEN?_

_Saturday, August 18. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_I requested ramen. Do you have a problem with that?_

_Saturday, August 18. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Fuck yes I do! It took us a whole week to dig a first-fuckin-class tunnel for that asshole! You couldn't have demanded anything better, puppet bitch?_

_Saturday, August 18. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Shut up, Hidan! Don't insult danna like that, un!_

_Saturday, August 18. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Actually, the kid gave us quite a lot of money. Two million yen. Itachi, your brother gave us some money too. Guess he was pretty thankful too._

_Saturday, August 18. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Return Sasuke's money._

_Saturday, August 18. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Senpai! Tobi planted bombs in the tunnel! Tobi was a good boy!_

_Saturday, August 18. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Tobi… I… didn't tell you to do that, un… this morning when I, un…_

_Saturday, August 18. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yes, brat. Yes you did._

_Saturday, August 18. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Prepare for war against Konoha. Again. Damnit, Tobi._

_**Sunday, August 19. Notice from the Hokage**_

A pipe broke underground. We have people working to repair the streets. No one was hurt, please do not fret. There is no reason why the path from Hyuuga manor to Tenten's house was blown up. No reason. That is all.

_**Sunday, August 19. Hokage to Uchiha.**_

Uchiha Sasuke,

Tell your idiot brother and his idiot organization that they are completely IDIOTS.

Hokage

**Sunday, August 19**

Dear Neji,

THEY BLEW UP THE PATH?

Oh my God, that's freaking hilarious.

I can't… seriously… did they really… oh God… they seriously… oh my God.

I'm sorry. I'm doubling over in laughter.

This is freaking hilarious.

Love, Tenten

**Sunday, August 19. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

The Hokage tells me to tell you and the Akatsuki that you are all idiots.

Hyuuga tells me to express his disbelief. A tunnel and doll, really?

Sasuke

**Monday, August 20**

Tenten,

…

And I actually paid these morons. I can't believe it.

Neji

**Monday, August 20. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

You are enjoying this, aren't you?

Itachi

**Tuesday, August 21**

Dear Neji,

So whatever happened to that life size doll of you? Sure hope Hiashi didn't find it… worse yet, the fangirls…

Love, Tenten

**Tuesday, August 21. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

Yes, yes I am.

Sasuke

**Wednesday, August 22**

Tenten,

I believe Ino and Sakura took it and gave it to Akamaru as a chew toy.

I also heard that they watched in satisfaction as I was ripped apart.

Neji

**Thursday, August 23**

Dear Neji,

Yes… they did confide to me that they had never really truly forgiven you… but I don't see why not. Shikamaru's back with Ino and Sakura's dating Sasuke! All is good. All should be forgiven.

Okay, they have a tiny problem with the whole Hiashi thing, but I assure you, they have a grudge against all Hyuugas (except Hinata) so they would currently like to see all Hyuugas get ripped apart by Akamaru.

They're such forgiving people, aren't they?

Love, Tenten

**Friday, August 24**

Dear Neji,

I'm not worried that you're dead, dying, or in danger of dying because you're in Hyuuga manor. But really, is a letter a day that difficult to manage? I miss you. That one night was way too short. I need to be with you longer.

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, August 25**

Tenten-chan,

Father has… well… to put simply, he's found the shreds of the doll of Neji-niisan in the Inuzuka yard one day while passing by…

He also walked outside and noticed the blown up path leading to your house…

Um…

…That is all…?

Hinata

**Sunday, August 26**

Hinata,

Don't lie.

That's not all.

Lying is a sin, Hinata-chan.

Do you wish to be a sinner?

Well, take it from the words of a sinner.

You do not wish to be a sinner.

Tell me the truth.

Tenten

**Monday, August 27**

Tenten-chan,

Um… well… Father was not happy… He was angry that Neji-niisan disobeyed him and snuck out to see you. He's said that Neji-niisan now has no choice; he will not be allowed even the choice of choosing whether to raise the child with you or not. Neji-niisan will not be allowed to even see the child, and if the child has Hyuuga eyes, he or she will be killed, no question about it.

Do not worry, Tenten-chan.

No one is happy about this. We are all going to try our best to help you.

Do not fear. We are on your side.

But at the same time, please do not be too harsh on my Father. I promise, I am on your side. But please believe me; he has his own reasons for this.

There is nothing more important to him than loyalty to family.

Hinata

**Tuesday, August 27. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

We need your help again. Hiashi found out about Hyuuga sneaking out (gee, I wonder how…) and Hiashi is forbidding him to even see the child; the child will be killed immediately if he or she has Hyuuga eyes.

I'm not sure what I'm asking you for. Either to help convince Hiashi to reconsider or bust the Hyuuga out permanently. 

Tenten is due in about two months.

Please. Sooner than that would be nice. Tell your "team members" that Konoha is willing to offer unlimited ramens from Ichiraku's. You may come and go to the Ichiraku stand as you please. And money, of course, for the rag doll one. Kakuzu, I think?

Sasuke

**Wednesday, August 28**

Hinata,

…Am I supposed to celebrate or cry?

…

Okay, tell Hiashi I want to see him. Tomorrow. No exceptions. I don't _care_ if he has some important meeting like saving the world. I want to see him. I need to talk to him.

I want to gouge out every single Hyuuga eye in Konoha and burn the rest of the bodies.

No offense, of course.

Tenten

**Wednesday, August 28**

Tenten-chan,

None taken, trust me.

You are not alone. We are all on your side. I will threaten to leave the clan with Hanabi if it comes down to it; we will support you to the end.

Hinata

**Wednesday, August 28**

Tenten,

I will find a way to fix this.

I promise.

Believe in me. I will take care of you and our child. I will not let anything happen to either of you.

Hinata-sama tells me that you have requested to see Hiashi-sama. Please, there is no need. I will find a way to fix everything.

Neji

**Thursday, August 29. To Hinata's room.**

Hinata-sama,

You have mentioned that everyone will be trying to help amend this situation.

This is my problem. I do not need any help.

Neji

**Thursday, August 29. From Hinata's room.**

Neji-niisan,

With all due respect, get off your high horse.

…I'm sorry, but I do mean that.

We care about you and Tenten. You two have done so much for each of us, whether directly or indirectly. We want to help you. And we will. You are stuck in a room, and even I am not allowed to go to your room anymore. But trust me, Hanabi is extremely loyal to you two. She will not rat you out; she has agreed to walk out on the clan with me if it comes down to it.

Neji-niisan, please let us do this for you.

Hinata

**Friday, August 30. To Hinata's room.**

Hinata-sama,

…

I thank you from the very bottom of my heart. I am forever in your debt; I have no words to express my gratitude. Really, thank you so much.

But please keep me informed as you make plans. I have a feeling Uchiha is enlisting the help of the Akatsuki…

Tell them that if they want, I will give them my entire savings account.

Which is far more than how much they could earn in ten years.

Neji

**Saturday, August 31**

Dear Neji,

I don't ever want to see you again.

Listen to Hiashi. I don't need someone like you raising my child.

…

Like I'd ever listen to Hiashi and spout that bullshit.

I don't give a crap what Hiashi wants. I want _you_. Whatever you want, I want.

Baby, I'll do anything to get you back. I promise. I'm not letting go.

When I set my mind to something, I get it. And you know that.

So prepare yourself, Hyuuga. Hiashi and his little clan will be tugging on one arm. I'll be tugging on the other, with everyone.

Let the games begin.

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, August 31**

Tenten,

…

…

I'm… slightly… terrified…

Neji

**Author's Notes: So I usually update when I have the next chapter eighty percent done… I don't know why; makes me feel better knowing I have the next chapter ready to go soon. But I am **_**stuck.**_** I have up to about September 13, and after that I am **_**completely**_** lost. I don't want to spoil anything but I need ideas. Basically… the Akatsuki are going to be "helping" out again… any ideas as to how they're going to "help" out would be greatly appreciated. It has to do with busting Neji out of Hyuuga manor again, yes. Thank you for reading, please review!**


	7. Month 7

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Chapter 7- Month 7**

_Sunday, September 1. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Hiashi's gone crazy this time. Neji will not be allowed to see his child at all, and the child will be killed if he or she has Hyuuga eyes, no doubt about it. I was also instructed to mention that we will have unlimited access to the Ichiraku ramen stall in Konoha, I highly recommend it, and quite a generous pay. But aside from material bribes, you should all wish to help out of the goodness of your hearts. Except you, Hidan. You eat babies._

_Sunday, September 1. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Fuck off, wrinkles! I don't eat them!_

_Sunday, September 1. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_If we manage to come up with a plan that works, I will make you all my brownies. Where are Tobi, Deidara, and Sasori?_

_Sunday, September 1. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Sorry, un. Danna and I were hanging Tobi by his toes; he'll be out there for a couple of years, un. Brownies?_

_Sunday, September 1. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_BROWNIES? Okay guys. Let's get to work. We get BROWNIES if we do this right._

_Sunday, September 1. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Guess I'll use that human jutsu…_

_Sunday, September 1. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Wow, danna, un. You'd be willing to turn human again for brownies, un?_

_Sunday, September 1. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Brat, I believe you've never had any of Pein-sama's brownies. Trust me, they are worth this annoying jutsu. I can deal with being human for a month before I can go back to my puppet body._

_Sunday, September 1. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Stop talking about brownies. Get to work, dimwits._

_**Monday, September 2. Haruno to Yamanaka, Hyuuga, Nara, Uchiha, Inuzuka, Rock, Aburame, Uzumaki, Akimichi.**_

I trust you have all heard of what Hiashi has done to Neji and Tenten, no?

Well, the bastard's gone too far this time.

I don't know what we're going to do…

BUT WE'RE DOING SOMETHING.

Tomorrow. The old willow tree by the pond where we used to play as kids. We'll meet there and discuss this. Bring ideas. Because this is _war._ …Well, a war amongst like thirteen people, but _war_ nevertheless.

_**Monday, September 2. Uzumaki to Haruno.**_

Sakura-chan,

What's a willow tree?

Naruto

_**Monday, September 2. Haruno to Uzumaki.**_

Naruto,

…I'll pick you up around noon tomorrow.

Sakura

**Tuesday, September 3**

Dear Neji,

I never thought Hanabi could actually be nice… I always knew her as Hinata's little sister and your cousin who annoyed you frequently because she wanted to train.

I mean, she has that "annoying little sister, second in line to heir the Hyuuga clan" brattiness going on, but she's pretty chill. She has a thing for weapons! I approve. So anyway, she's been really sweet delivering these letters.

Hanabi, I know you're reading these.

Neji's letters are always perfectly folded. The last one's edges were slightly not together. You opened them, read them, and tried to close them.

Nice try, little Hyuuga.

Love, Tenten

_**Wednesday, September 4. Haruno to Hyuuga.**_

Neji,

Okay. We had a meeting yesterday to come up with ideas, and we had very few. You have to cut us some slack; imagine going up against the head of the most powerful clan in Konoha. It's kind of terrifying.

Kiba and Chouji wish to know what Hiashi's favorite food is. They want to prevent him from being able to buy that food until he caves in. Personally, I don't think this plan will work very well.

Naruto wants to engage in a battle with him. But we both know not only would he lose, but the Kyuubi may come out. And that would be even worse. The good news would be that your room would be obliterated. Unfortunately, you would be too.

Ino wants to tie Hiashi up. Everyone knows the problem with that.

Sakura

**Wednesday, September 4**

Tenten,

I had suspected this kind of behavior from Hanabi-sama. There is no way to avoid it, sadly.

I would inform you of blackmail you could utilize against her but then she would never deliver this note.

Neji

_**Thursday, September 5. Hyuuga to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

Thank you for the updates.

I will continue try to negotiate with Hiashi-sama.

Neji

**Thursday, September 5**

Dear Neji,

Hanabi and I went out for ice cream today! Well, it got awkward when people came up to me and asked if she was my kid with you… Good God, Hanabi is way too old. God. That was embarrassing and awkward.

Anyway, I think we've bonded. She's promised to not read anymore notes. I will test it out.

HANABI SMELLS BAD.

If you have received this letter that means that she has kept her promise.

She is a Hyuuga, after all. She wouldn't dare disgrace her honor.

Love, Tenten

_**Thursday, September 5. To Hiashi's room.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ I beg you to reconsider._

_ I apologize for my rude behavior in the past. Locking people up has negative effects on their brains._

_Neji_

**Thursday, September 5. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

We will try our best. Due to the fact that Hyuuga Hiashi is directly involved this time, we will make sure to come up with a foolproof, professional plan that you would expect from the Akatsuki.

Itachi

**Friday, September 6**

Tenten,

I have received your letter. I am amazed at your ability to gain Hanabi-sama's respect.

It wasn't just ice cream, was it?

Neji

**Friday, September 6. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

Keep the pavement intact.

Don't dig a tunnel.

Don't sew a giant Hyuuga doll.

And I will be satisfied.

Sasuke

**Saturday, September 7**

Dear Neji,

Okay I also gave her a couple of poisoned senbon.

But she promised she wouldn't do anything bad with them.

Love, Tenten

_**Saturday, September 7. From Hiashi's room.**_

_Neji,_

_ I am sorry, but my decision stands firm._

_Hiashi_

**Sunday, September 8**

Tenten,

Recently, I heard that Konohamaru fainted and was found with a senbon in his neck.

Do you know anything about this?

Neji

**Monday, September 9**

Dear Neji,

Of course not! How irresponsible do you think I am? How irresponsible do you think Hanabi is? Is that how lowly you think of us? I am so insulted! Goodness…

Okay, maybe Hanabi came running to me asking for the antidote and I kindly directed her to Shizune-neechan.

Love, Tenten

_**Monday, September 9. Yamanaka to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

Is Hiashi allergic to flowers?

I got this _brilliant_ idea to make him sneeze until he sneezes himself into a coma! We have a new supplier of flowers; they literally have everything!

Did you know that they have Venus fly traps with humans inside?

Ino

_**Tuesday, September 10. To Hinata's room.**_

Hinata,

I'm not even going to bother sending a bunch of letters.

What's wrong now?

Tenten

_**Tuesday, September 10. Haruno to Yamanaka.**_

Ino,

…

…

RETURN THE SHIPMENT IMMEDIATELY.

Sakura

_Wednesday, September 11. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Hey, dipshits. How about we kidnap the kid again and show up with him, all ten of us lined up? We're fuck ups but together, we can still look pretty intimidating. As long as Tobi crosses his arms and he's not allowed to speak, he can look decently terrifying._

_Wednesday, September 11. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Sasuke has forbidden any digging or dolls in Konoha._

_Wednesday, September 11. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_We're the Akatsuki. We can think of something besides digging a holes. Something that requires no money. Hidan. Let's go collect some bounties._

_Wednesday, September 11. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Hidan, we have all shown our faces too many times in villages. They have started to look through our very poor disguises. Someone please tell Tobi he cannot look like a female. The only one, besides Konan, that can do that is Deidara. And he vehemently refuses to do so._

_Wednesday, September 11. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Of course, un! Have any of you had to stuff paper towels down your shirt, un? Itchy as hell! Do any of you want guys checking you out, un? I didn't think so!_

_Wednesday, September 11. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Blame your feminine looking face, brat._

_Wednesday, September 11. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Shut up, danna, un!_

_Wednesday, September 11. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Deidara, it's one thing to be checked out by a bunch of guys. It's another to be an actual girl, standing next to a cross dressing guy, and receive no attention at all. Watch your mouth, buddy._

_Wednesday, September 11. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_I entered this conversation at a great time. Hey, where's Zetsu? Saw Tobi swinging around outside, he looks like he's having fun._

_Wednesday, September 11. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Danna?_

_Wednesday, September 11. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Let's hang him by the strands of his hair._

_**Wednesday, September 11. Yamanaka to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

Why? He seemed nice! He gave me a couple of tips and recommendations for fertilizer and how to keep the flowers vibrant longer! He told me I had very good taste in flowers and disappeared, after asking how tight security at Hyuuga manor was. He had a really nice coat… it was black with… red… clouds…

…Did I do something bad?

Ino

**Thursday, September 12. From Hinata's room.**

Tenten,

I apologize for the delay in answering your letter. Erm… Father has… instructed everyone in the Hyuuga clan to not tell you, fearing it would upset you, but you have a right to know.

Father found out that, after forbidding me and everyone else from delivering letters between you two, Hanabi was the deliverer this time. Rest assured, Hanabi did not tell him. She was putting the note under the bowl of his lunch, but Father was waiting by Neji-niisan's room and checked under all the bowls and found out. She is also confined to her room for the time being, but I trust she will be out soon. Father can't keep her locked up for too long, I know it.

Hinata

_**Thursday, September 12. Haruno to Yamanaka.**_

Ino,

Very bad.

…

If he comes back, tell him to stay put and call me.

They're Akatsuki, but they managed to get Neji out of his prison cell. We could use them…

Sakura

**Friday, September 13**

Hinata,

…I'm going to isolate myself for a week.

I am sure you understand why.

Thank you.

You may drop off food at my door step. I will check it once a day.

Tenten

_**Friday, September 13. Hyuuga to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

I told Tenten… she's isolated herself. So she and Neji-niisan are now both cut off from the world. How soon do you think we could have a plan?

Ino tells me you wish to enlist the help of the Akatsuki…

_What is going on with your head?_

Hinata

_**Saturday, September 14. Haruno to Hyuuga.**_

Hinata,

Well… about that… I mean, yes, I was going to enlist their help. Hey, they're S-class criminals! They're powerful! They're deadly! They're… okay, they're immature, but they can get the job done. Countries used to hire them to get work done, remember? I mean, that was when they still had that homicidal streak going, but I think they still have wits!

And Sasuke-kun already asked Itachi for help! So… hopefully he'll hear back with a decent plan! However, we will continue to plan. Just in case their plan doesn't work out. Not that I have no faith in them…

Sakura

_Saturday, September 14. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_So exactly how were we found out last time, un?_

_Saturday, September 14. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_I'm not sure. Perhaps because you detonated the underground pathway between their houses?_

_Saturday, September 14. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Shut up, Uchiha! Go arrange a play date with your brother, un!_

_Saturday, September 14. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_I do actually plan on inviting Sasuke over again. Thank you for reminding me._

_Saturday, September 14. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Pein-sama, could you not put walnuts into your brownies this time? I think I'm allergic._

_Saturday, September 14. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_No one is getting any brownies until a viable plan turns up._

_Saturday, September 14. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Tobi thinks we should all dress up as dancers! (1)_

_Saturday, September 14. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

…_? How did you get back in…?_

_Saturday, September 14. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki. _

_Sasori-san, Tobi is magical, remember?_

_Saturday, September 14. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_No, Tobi is dead. Get back here, squirt, un!_

_Saturday, September 14. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Dancers?_

_Saturday, September 14. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yeah, yeah! You know those Arabian dancers that shake their hips? Tobi thinks we should do that! No one would suspect us of being the Akatsuki! And senpai makes a lovely girl!_

_Saturday, September 14. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_NO ONE PUTS ME IN A DRESS, UN. ESPECIALLY YOU, TOBI!_

_**Sunday, September 15. From Hiashi's room.**_

_Neji,_

_ I hear you have not been eating and the food sent to your room has instead been fed to the dogs that Hanabi picks up off the streets._

_ Unless you are undergoing some kind of a religious cleansing, please eat something._

_Hiashi_

_**Sunday, September 15. Inuzuka to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

I think that doll you and Ino fed to Akamaru had poison in it. Akamaru's sick.

You better get here and heal him. Otherwise you'll be his next chew toy.

Kiba

**Sunday, September 15. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

I would like to invite you to the Akatsuki hideout again. We have followed your suggestion and bought Monopoly. It is quite entertaining. However, we need a banker that doesn't sneak all the money up his sleeves like Kakuzu does.

Itachi

_**Monday, September 16. To the Hyuuga manor.**_

Hinata,

How is Neji doing? I'm pretty sure he's literally cut off from the world now… I've heard that Hiashi and a couple of extremely loyal maids are the only ones that can go near his room.

If you can, please tell him to eat. When he's in a bad mood, the first thing that he stops doing is eating. He meditates all day, and takes a few sips of water. At times like these, I think he might eat plain rice porridge with thousand year old egg, maybe pork.

If possible, open his window. He has something against fresh air if he's in a bad mood. I don't want him to be cooped up in a musty room.

I know I sound like a housewife, but I'm worried. And yeah, I gave up on the isolation thing. I was getting bored.

I also know which aisle Hiashi heads to when he goes to the convenient store.

Do not be worried if your father does not return.

Tenten

**Monday, September 16. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

…Ten missing S-class criminals can't play monopoly?

Yeah, sure, I'll go over there and teach you guys. Kind of pathetic. You have to promise that Deidara won't put any explosive in my food. I already tried apologizing to him about that whole escaping-his-art thing.

Any progress on the hijack-the-Hyuuga plan?

Sasuke

_**Tuesday, September 17. Yamanaka to Sabaku.**_

Temari,

Before you rip this up, I would like to say I am not writing to provoke you.

Before you frame this, I would like to say I am still with Shikamaru.

Do you think I could borrow Gaara's gourd of sand?

Ino

_**Tuesday, September 17. From the Hyuuga clan.**_

Tenten,

Today, Father told me that he ran into a suspiciously dressed black kunoichi with a sizeable bump. She threw several shuriken at him, threw a couple of packs a ramen, aimed a couple of chopsticks at his eyes, then ran away.

…

Behave yourself.

Hinata

_**Wednesday, September 18. Sabaku to Yamanaka.**_

Ino,

…

God, it's people like you that give us blondes a bad name.

Temari

_**Wednesday, September 18. To the Hyuuga clan.**_

Hinata,

Unless you were there, you don't understand just how tempting it was…

Tenten

_**Wednesday, September 18. Haruno to Inuzuka.**_

Kiba,

Akamaru should be recovered completely. You can come and take him home anytime you wish.

If you feed me to him, I hope you have fun getting eaten alive by Tsunade-sama's slugs.

Sakura

_Wednesday, September 18. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Why can't we dig another tunnel like last time…?_

_Wednesday, September 18. Zetsu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Because my arms still hurt from digging that damn thing. We need to infiltrate the clan. Anyone have Hyuuga eye contacts?_

_Wednesday, September 18. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_If anyone has contacts of any kind, you need to return them. Contacts are useless, petty things, and horrendously expensive._

_Wednesday, September 18. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Oh fuck off, old man. Why don't we send the twerp in? I don't care if he dies._

_Wednesday, September 18. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Tobi wouldn't last a minute, un._

_Wednesday, September 18. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_TOBI IS THE MILK DELIVERY MAN! _

_Wednesday, September 18. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Glue and water is not milk, moron, un!_

_Wednesday, September 18. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yes. Tobi. Deliver milk to the Hyuuga manor._

_Wednesday, September 18. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

…_So I have to mix in some poison into Tobi's "milk"?_

_Wednesday, September 18. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Ah, I see what Pein is saying. Tobi will supposedly deliver milk and someone will hide in it, and will then infiltrate the Hyuuga manor and get into Hyuuga Neji's room. I think our best bet would be Zetsu._

_Wednesday, September 18. Zetsu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Lady, I'm a plant. __**Not a gallon of milk.**_

_Wednesday, September 18. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Never heard of a potted plant being sent as a gift with milk?_

_Wednesday, September 18. Zetsu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Actually… __**no.**_

_Wednesday, September 18. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Oh, I see! So then they escape… Zetsu materializes through the floor with the Hyuuga kid in tow to the Hyuuga dock where a boat will be waiting and I can propel it away from Hyuuga manor towards the nearby forest…_

_Wednesday, September 18. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_And I'll have a clay bird ready to fly him through the forest until it's a straight dash to the girl's house un…_

_Wednesday, September 18. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Where I'll have a horse carriage ready…_

_Wednesday, September 18. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_A fuckin' horse carriage?_

_Wednesday, September 18. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_You'd be surprised at how much I'd make._

_Wednesday, September 18. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Meanwhile, Zetsu will have left a puppet of the Hyuuga kid in his room in case someone checks in on him… (2)_

_Wednesday, September 18. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Better leave a note too, saying he was kidnapped, in case something happens to the puppet. Like Zetsu eating it. That way the old man won't immediately go to the girl's house. (3)_

_Wednesday, September 18. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Why do we have to make a big circle that'll take at least an hour when there's a straight path between the two houses that takes about ten minutes to walk?_

_Wednesday, September 18. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_You're supposed to be a prodigy, un? Did you see how well that worked out last time?_

_Wednesday, September 18. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_The more complex, the harder it will be to catch us._

_Wednesday, September 18. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_The higher probability of a mistake happening._

_Wednesday, September 18. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Just tell Sasuke of the plan, Itachi. We will infiltrate Konoha on the 23__rd__. _

**Thursday, September 19. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

Attached is a drawing of our plan. All we need from you and your comrades is for Hyuuga Hiashi and the rest of Hyuuga manor to be kept busy, except one ditzy maid that will deliver a potted plant to Hyuuga Neji's room. We will set this plan into motion on September 23rd.

Itachi

_**Thursday, September 19. To Hiashi's room.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ You have locked me in my room like some kind of an animal for three months now. I do not know where you got the idea to send me plain rice porridge instead of the extravagant feast that was sent every day, but I am going to assume Tenten somehow conveyed that. So I will thank you._

_ I am slightly insulted by your actions, to be honest. Aside from this, the fact that you do not think that Tenten and I would go to any lengths to protect our child deeply irritates me. I will guarantee that, with the Byakugan or not, Tenten and I will keep our child safe at any costs._

_ I know that the secrets of the Byakugan must be kept within the Hyuuga clan. Everyone in the clan knows of the importance to keep that secret. However, no one is nearly as uptight about it as you; this paranoia goes beyond being the head of the clan._

_Neji_

**Friday, September 20. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

…

Am I really related to you?

Sasuke

_**Friday, September 20. Uchiha to all.**_

On the 23rd, we will need a huge event to distract at least all of the Hyuugas. Hinata, I will need you to remain in the manor to deliver a potted plant (I'll explain later) to Neji. All Hyuugas have to be distracted; especially Hyuuga Hiashi.

Any ideas how to do this?

_**Friday, September 20. From Hiashi's room.**_

_Neji,_

_ I am indeed paranoid about keeping the secret of the Byakugan. I have no doubt that you and Tenten will make excellent parents. I absolutely trust in your skills and love that you will have towards your child that you will keep him or her safe from any possible danger._

_ However, I am simply taking precautions._

_ To keep the Byakugan's secrets hidden forever was the last request your father made of me._

_ I am sure you understand as to why I will go to any lengths to keep my promise. There is not a day that passes where I do not regret allowing him to make that decision._

_Hiashi_

_**Saturday, September 21. Yamanaka to all.**_

A circus!

_**Saturday, September 21. Uchiha to all.**_

No, seriously.

_**Saturday, September 21. Yamanaka to all.**_

__I am serious, Orochimaru's play toy!

_**Saturday, September 21. Uchiha to all.**_

__I told you to stop calling me that.

_**Saturday, September 21. Haruno to all.**_

__…That might just work…

_**Saturday, September 21. Uchiha to all.**_

__You can't be serious…

_**Saturday, September 21. Haruno to all.**_

__Okay, everyone! Meet together tomorrow! 6 A.M. sharp at the willow tree! We have a circus to plan!

_**Saturday, September 21. Uchiha to all.**_

__Konoha is insane…

The Akatsuki is insane…

I have nowhere to escape to…

_**Sunday, September 22. Announcement from the Hokage.**_

Tomorrow, starting at 11 A.M., there will be a circus! Attendance is mandatory, with the exceptions of serious illnesses and forced confinement!

I repeat: _attendance is mandatory._

Yes, that includes you, Hiashi, you sad old sack.

_**Sunday, September 22. To Hiashi's room.**_

Father,

I think I have a serious illness.

As a result, I will not be able to attend tomorrow's circus performance.

Hinata

_**Sunday, September 22. From Hiashi's room.**_

Hinata,

You have never lied to me before, and thus I have no reason to doubt you.

I will have a maid leave you the necessary medicine before everyone will depart.

Hiashi

_**Sunday, September 22. Hyuuga to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

Please tell me you have the cure for whatever you gave me.

When you said you would infect me, I did not think that would include actual vomiting, a fever, a cough, and a runny nose.

Hinata

_**Sunday, September 22. Haruno to Hyuuga.**_

Hinata,

Um… I may have… grabbed the wrong syringe in a confusion… fear not, the cure will be delivered with Hanabi later today!

Sakura

P.S. Do you have a tight rope I can borrow?

_Monday, September 23. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_It is 10:30. Everyone, head towards Konoha and take your positions. Operation: Hijack the Hyuuga is about to begin._

_Monday, September 23. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Nice alliteration._

_Monday, September 23. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Thank you, I am rather proud of it._

_Monday, September 23. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Right, you didn't see that in the letter Sasuke addressed to me._

_Monday, September 23. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_At least I'm not in the circus like you are. Why are you a bunch of you in that thing anyway?_

_Monday, September 23. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_This is a group effort. Thus, we must all take part in some way. This way we can also watch to make sure that Hyuuga Hiashi does not try to return to Hyuuga manor at any point._

_Monday, September 23. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Hey, Itachi, un._

_Monday, September 23. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yes, Deidara?_

_Monday, September 23. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_I hope a lion bites off your head._

_Monday, September 23. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_I hope a lion returns yours._

_**Monday, September 23. Police report from a citizen.**_

I believe I saw the Akatsuki driving a horse carriage…

And wasn't the immortal one performing the head-in-lion's-mouth trick?

And wasn't that Uchiha Itachi performing a magic trick by using his Mangekyou Sharingan?

And Konan was folding things for children…

And the leader was offering free piercings…

_**Monday, September 23. Response to police report.**_

__First of all, you think too much.

Second of all, we would never let the Akatsuki infiltrate Konoha.

Third of all, do not speak of this otherwise we will report to the Hokage that you were not at the circus all day as mandated.

_**Tuesday, September 24. Haruno to all.**_

It was a success! I mean, Naruto has some bruises from falling off the tight rope, Kiba has developed an allergy to cats, Ino pulled a muscle or two by doing the unicycle act, and Lee may have scarred some kids permanently and instilled coulrophobia in several children. BUT Neji is at Tenten's and that is all that matters!

Well, Hiashi seems awfully calm about this.

If he asks, DO NOT ANSWER. LOOK AWAY. DO NOT LOOK AT HIASHI.

_**Tuesday, September 24. Yamanaka to all.**_

__God, I'm never getting on anything with wheels again.

Tenten's kid better be adorable.

_Tuesday, September 24. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

…_No responses yet? That must mean you're either all dead or… dead._

_**Tuesday, September 24. From the Hyuuga clan.**_

Tenten,

I have no doubt that Neji is currently with you, despite the well crafted Neji-puppet.

However, please tell Sasori that if he has placed a puppet of Neji in his room, he does not need the note explaining the real Neji's absence.

I will not attempt to retrieve Neji yet.

Hiashi

**Wednesday, September 25. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

They messed up again.

Tell Sasori only a puppet or note is necessary. Not both.

Hyuuga

**Wednesday, September 25. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

You morons messed up again. I thought Sasori was a child prodigy.

Sasuke

_Wednesday, September 25. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Sasori, it has come to my attention that you left both the note and the puppet. Quite an elementary mistake on your part._

_Wednesday, September 25. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Damnit._

_Wednesday, September 25. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Hey, Sasori. Sorry about hitting you with Samehada this morning; didn't know you were actually flesh today._

_Wednesday, September 25. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_No worries; watching Deidara blow up your aquarium was enough justification._

_Wednesday, September 25. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Tobi was a good boy! Does Tobi get brownies?_

_Wednesday, September 25. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Tobi, there's a big plate of brownies waiting for you in my room, un. On danna's bed._

_Wednesday, September 25. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Really? Thank you senpai and Sasori-san!_

_**Thursday, September 26. To Hyuuga manor.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ I will not inquire why you are allowing me such freedom, but I will thank you._

_ I will also thank you for simply obeying my father's last wishes._

_ I am sorry I treated you the way I did. I am touched at how loyal you are to him._

_ Thank you._

_Neji_

**Thursday, September 26. To the Uchiha clan.**

Foolish little brother,

Please come over tomorrow. We have brownies.

Itachi

_Thursday, September 26. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Tobi didn't get brownies, did he?_

_Thursday, September 26. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_We gave him a new home._

_Thursday, September 26. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_In one of danna's puppets, un._

_Thursday, September 26. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_That the brat will blow up later._

_Thursday, September 26. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_I bet a thousand ryo that Tobi will show up tomorrow, completely intact. Also, Sasuke will be coming tomorrow._

_Thursday, September 26. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_BET TAKEN, UN. YOU'RE FINALLY GOING DOWN, UCHIHA!_

_**Friday, September 27. From Hyuuga manor.**_

Tenten,

I am slightly worried. Father has been incredibly calm… I am fairly sure he knows that I had something to do with Neji-niisan escaping, yet he has not punished me yet. In fact, he seems strangely calm and… happy, almost.

Did you instruct Sakura to drug him?

Hinata

_Friday, September 27. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_The puppet was blown up, un. Saw an orange mask fly out. TOBI IS NO MORE, UN. UCHIHA, GIVE ME THE MONEY!_

_Friday, September 27. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Wow… never thought I'd see the day where Deidara proved Itachi wrong and killed Tobi in one motion… I must admit, I am impressed…_

_Friday, September 27. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Deidara, we're going out later. I need you to find me a strong shinobi from Iwa to kill and make a puppet out of._

_Friday, September 27. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Why Iwa, un?_

_Friday, September 27. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_I already have the strongest from Suna. I don't want to go near Konoha for a long time. And you should be able to pick out the strongest from Iwa with no difficulty. Just not the Tsuchikage; I hate gnomes._

_Friday, September 27. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_SENPAI SENT TOBI ON A ROLLERCOASTER WITHOUT THE ROLLERCOASTER!_

_Friday, September 27. Sasuke to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Did I come at a bad time?_

_Friday, September 27. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Kakuzu, I think Deidara just had a heart attack from Tobi and Sasuke appearing at the same time._

_**Friday, September 27. Uchiha to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

I am currently with Itachi.

If anything happens in Konoha, please keep me updated, whether it's something serious or something stupid.

Is there anything you wish to tell anyone here?

Sasuke

_**Saturday, September 28. To Hyuuga manor.**_

Hinata,

Of course not!

Now why would I ever want to harm good old Hiashi?

Damn, that would've been a good idea, wouldn't it? I should've thought of that.

Neji looks decently healthy; I'm going to assume it's because you instructed the chefs to make him rice porridge. So, thank you; I promise, one day I'll find a way to repay you for everything you've done for me.

How does being the godmother sound?

Tenten

_**Sunday, September 29. Haruno to Uchiha.**_

Sasuke-kun,

I'm so flattered you'd remember to tell me where you are even when you're with Itachi!

Not much has happened… except that Hiashi surprisingly isn't super angry that Neji's gone. We're all kind of suspicious…

Tenten looks happier than she has for the last couple of months! I assume the same for Neji, but since we haven't seen him I can't say for sure. It's so adorable; they take walks together every day through town!

Oh! Did I tell you? We've decided we want to try doing this circus thing more often! We could be a traveling circus! What do you think?

Sakura

P.S. Tell Zetsu that he can't get mad at Naruto for calling him aloe vera… he does look like an aloe vera plant.

_**Sunday, September 29. From Hyuuga manor.**_

_Neji,_

_ I wish to meet with you and Tenten tomorrow._

_Hiashi_

_**Sunday, September 29. To Hyuuga manor.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ As you wish._

_Neji_

_**Monday, September 30. Uchiha to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

…Hell no.

And…

…Last time I even mentioned putting aloe vera on burns, Zetsu tried to eat me.

Sasuke

_**Monday, September 30. To Haruno.**_

Sakura,

My dear medical ninja, genius friend. I require your help again! Do not fear, this does not involve busting Neji out of the Hyuuga detention center of his room.

What do I do when my water breaks…?

Tenten

**Author's Notes: I'm surprised the chapter I had the most difficulty with ended up being the longest, haha. The next chapter will be the last, I believe. Thank you for reading, please review!**

**(1) Thank you and credits go to DevilishBea!**

**(2) Thank you and credits go to it's-an-Alice-thing!**

**(3) Thank you and credits go to Altrutix!**

**Thank you to all who reviewed with ideas! :D**


	8. Month 8

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

**Chapter 8- Month 8**

_**Sunday, October 1. Haruno to Uchiha.**_

Sasuke-kun,

This is me keeping you up to date as to what's happening in Konoha. Tenten's gone into labor! We're all really worried since this is a bit early, but it's Tenten; both she and the child will be safe. I swear, everyone is here at the hospital. All of our friends, Neji, Kakashi-sensei, Gai, etc. Even Hiashi. He and Neji were talking in a corner… I don't think it was anything bad because they're standing together and Hiashi has his hand on Neji's shoulder and no one has been Jyuuken-ed yet.

How's everything with the Akatsuki?

Sakura

_**Sunday, October 1. Uzumaki to Uchiha.**_

TEME,

ADSLGHASDKLJF.

SLDAKGHLSDKJF!

ALSGHSDFHGLSD;KJF!

BABAWEIHSDKLJF!

NARUTO

_**Monday, October 2. Uchiha to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

Judged by the crumpled appearance of your last letter, I can tell you are very anxious. I congratulate you on forming coherent words and writing legibly. I am sure certain other people, the dobe for example, would have scribbled swirls and sent the letter, expecting me to decipher things.

Which, of course, he did. Tell him I fed his letter to Zetsu.

All is well; I will be back in two days time. Please give Hyuuga and Tenten my blessing.

Sasuke

_**Monday, October 2. Haruno to Uchiha.**_

Sasuke-kun,

TWINS! SHE HAD TWINS! A BABY BOY AND A BABY GIRL, AND THEY ARE SO ADORABLE.

They're both really healthy for premature birth, and they are absolutely adorable. They both have pale skin and dark hair and those silvery Hyuuga eyes. The girl acts like Tenten and grabs at everything (we're keeping her away from weapons), and the boy already knows how to glare like Neji.

Of course, Neji and Tenten are ecstatic. They form the image of a perfect family and everything! They said they're still deciding on the names.

Oh yeah, Hiashi. Almost forgot about him.

See, that really shows how much of a prick he was during all this. He wasn't, surprisingly. He and Neji were talking in low voices yesterday in a corner, remember? Hiashi went in and saw the kids and gave Neji and Tenten his blessing then went home. Regardless, at least five of us are always watching the kids. Unless Tenten chases us out.

Ino has like a million outfits lined up all around the hospital room already and is talking Tenten through when to have her children wear them. She also brings in a fresh bouquet of flowers everyday; apparently there's a special kind of flower than helps the children to grow up healthy and for the mother to recover. Guess not everything Ino does is pointless.

Oh, I have to go. One of them is crying… I bet it was Lee's fault. This is proof that spandex scares children.

Sakura

_**Monday, October 2. From Hyuuga manor.**_

_Neji,_

_ Your children are beautiful, and I give you both my blessing._

_ I wish to speak to you in three days time at noon._

_Hiashi_

_**Tuesday, October 3. Haruno to Uchiha.**_

Sasuke-kun,

So I'm going to keep talking about the children because they are just so adorable!

Neji and Tenten have decided on names! Akemi for the girl because she has those bright Hyuuga eyes and she's going to grow up to be a beauty. Satoru for the boy because, you know, daybreak and Akatsuki? They couldn't have made it this far without the Akatsuki and they wish to properly thank them. But it would be weird to have a kid named Akatsuki, so Satoru it is. Personally, I think the names fit them really well.

Little Satoru glares at anyone that looks at him. It's so cute; try to imagine baby Neji making a pouty and baby glare face. Can you see it? IT'S ADORABLE.

Little Akemi laughs and giggles all the time and she reaches for anything that's soft or fuzzy or pointy. She is like the epitome of cheerfulness! Neither of them cry excessively, so that's a relief for everyone. But nevertheless, whenever we hear a sniffle, we're immediately around the crib, cooing like idiots.

Sakura

_**Tuesday, October 3. To Hyuuga manor.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ As you wish._

_Neji_

_**Tuesday, October 3. Notice from the Hokage.**_

Just a friendly reminder: killing children is not only illegal but also a sin and goes against every moral fiber of one's being.

Just a thought.

_Wednesday, October 4. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_The Hyuuga has named his son after us. Satoru, for daybreak, like Akatsuki._

_Wednesday, October 4. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_That is so adorable! Can we go to Konoha and see him? We do apparently have unlimited access to Ichiraku's now… that's so sweet of them to do!_

_Wednesday, October 4. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Itachi, did you really have to bring up the topic of children around Konan?_

_Wednesday, October 4. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_What was that?_

_Wednesday, October 4. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_You are a sweet, sensitive, caring woman._

_Wednesday, October 4. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Okay, exactly how much paper and ink have we wasted? I'm sitting next to Hidan right now and any moment he's going to say something. There is nothing weirder than watching Hidan write down swears instead of screaming them at you._

_Wednesday, October 4. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Shut the fuck up, money whore! Now let's go to fucking Konoha and see the kid!_

_Wednesday, October 4. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_What's this? Hidan is curious about a child and doesn't want to kill him? Could you be developing a soft side?_

_Wednesday, October 4. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Hidan and Kakuzu are stabbing each other on the living room floor. Someone should stop them._

_Wednesday, October 4. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Danna, un! You told me you poisoned Tobi in his sleep, un!_

_Wednesday, October 4. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_I was going to, but someone jumped out of his bed and tackled me to the ground and proceeded to use me as a pillow for the rest of the night._

_Wednesday, October 4. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Oops. Sorry danna, un…_

_Wednesday, October 4. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_That's not the worst part._

_Wednesday, October 4. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_How much worse could it get, un?_

_Wednesday, October 4. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Tobi walked by and joined in by hugging you and we all fell asleep._

_Wednesday, October 4. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Are you saying…_

_Wednesday, October 4. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yes. We slept with Tobi._

_Wednesday, October 4. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Hey, I heard an explosion for Deidara's room. Should we be worried?_

_Wednesday, October 4. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_OH NO. SENPAI! SENPAI WAS A GOOD SENPAI… THE BEST THERE EVER WAS!_

_Wednesday, October 4. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Excuse me, are you singing Pokemon?_

_Wednesday, October 4. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_ITACHI-SAN IS FAMILIAR WITH THE POKEMON THEME AS WELL?_

_Wednesday, October 4. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_I said nothing._

_Wednesday, October 4. Zetsu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Hey guys! __**Let's go to Konoha!**__ That's what you were talking about before you guys got off topic __**as usual**__ right? Everyone's all giddy and they're actually respecting us as some kind of heroes right now! I know this because we just went there to try Ichiraku's. __**Very delicious indeed.**__ And no one tried to attack us! __**The Hyuuga looked troubled though.**__ Yeah he's got another meeting with the old twerp tomorrow._

_Wednesday, October 4. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_We accepted a mission to help Hyuuga Neji and Tenten raise their family, and this mission is not complete until we have received Hiashi's word that he will allow them to raise their children together. Go to Konoha._

_Wednesday, October 4. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_What Pein means is, let's go to Konoha today and eat a lot of ramen, then talk to Hiashi tomorrow._

**Thursday, October 5**

Dear Neji,

Akemi and Satoru miss their daddy already… They look at me and make these little pouty faces. Of course, I told them it was urgent business otherwise you would still be here.

You don't know this, but when you went out to buy the food I wanted, Hiashi came in and talked to me for about half an hour. I may have said this before, but I don't think he means badly. Of course, I still don't approve of his thinking, but he is the head of the most powerful clan in Konoha and it is his responsibility to protect the secret of the Byakugan at any costs. But I know that it would pain him to do what he said he would do; he can be talked around. I know he can. He's a good person. Satoru smiled at him. That's proof he's a good person.

Akemi threw a rattle at him but she throws everything at everybody, so that's expected.

And to think… a bit less than eight months ago you were leaving for that ramen-thief-chasing (I'm never getting over that) mission. And now here we are, with two gorgeous children.

Well, I will await your return. Sakura tells me I can go home next week. Until then, it's more hospital food and moving mattresses for me.

Don't lose your temper. I love you. Things have a way of working out in the end, I promise.

Love, Tenten

_**Thursday, October 5. Uchiha to Haruno and Uzumaki.**_

The Akatsuki are in Konoha. Today they plan on sightseeing and spending most of their time at Ichiraku's, then tomorrow they will find Hyuuga and see if they need to assist in further actions to promote the safety of their family.

However, today I would like you two to meet Itachi, as well as the others.

Sakura, please do not punch Sasori. He is currently not a puppet.

Dobe, do not bash Pein into the ground with a rock when you are in Sage mode.

Today, noon, Ichiraku's.

_**Thursday, October 5. From Rock Lee.**_

Tenten-chan!

Would you and your children like to run around Konoha five thousand times with me to celebrate their youth?

Lee

_**Thursday, October 5. To Rock Lee.**_

Lee,

Thank you for the offer, but I must kindly decline. I must also add that Akemi and Satoru cannot run yet. They can barely crawl.

Tenten

**Friday, October 6. Uchiha to Hyuuga**

Hyuuga,

Do you need further assistance with Hiashi? The Akatsuki are in town and they probably ate the next seven months worth of ramen at Ichiraku's. Now they're bored out of their wits and walking around Konoha.

I think they're trying to be nice. Deidara's making little clay sculptures, Hidan's doing magic tricks, Konan's folding things, Sasori's putting on puppet shows.

But the clay explodes, the magic tricks of a disembodied head talking are not entertaining, Konan's paper comes to life on its own later, and Sasori's puppets all have poison gas or sharp knives or both.

The children of Konoha are scared.

Uchiha

**Friday, October 6**

Dear Neji,

I'm not rushing you but where the hell are you?

Love, Tenten

_**Friday, October 6. To Uchiha Sasuke.**_

Sasuke,

Do you happen to know anything about Neji's whereabouts? It might strike you as odd that I'm asking you this because it strikes me as odd, but I'm really worried.

The way he said it, it sounded like it would be a short meeting, but no one's seen him ever since he went in to talk to Hiashi. Not even Hanabi or Hinata…

Tenten

_Saturday, October 7. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Guys, this blows. We haven't destroyed shit or fucked up bitches._

_Saturday, October 7. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_HYUUGA NEJI IS MISSING! THE AKATSUKI CAN NOW BECOME DETECTIVES!_

_Saturday, October 7. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Disperse. Find Hyuuga Neji's whereabouts._

_Saturday, October 7. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Why the hell is Pein-sama listening to Tobi all of a sudden, un? And where's Itachi? That bastard snuck off somewhere, un!_

_Saturday, October 7. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Itachi is spending time with Sasuke at the Uchiha compound._

_Saturday, October 7. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Danna-!_

_Saturday, October 7. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_No. The last time I messed with a Uchiha… just, no._

**Saturday, October 7**

Tenten,

Hiashi has given me an ultimatum.

Exchange my life for those of both of our children. (1)

Neji

**Saturday, October 7**

Dear Neji,

WHAT?

THAT OLD SACK OF WRINIKLES AND MARBLE EYES.

I'M GOING TO KILL HIM.

TELL HIM I WANT TO MEET HIM. RIGHT NOW. RIGHT HERE. ALONE. IN THE DARK ALLEY.

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, October 7**

Tenten,

…Is it bad to say I was kidding?

Neji

**Saturday, October 7**

Dear Neji,

…

You better stay away from my, Hyuuga.

Far, far away.

Love, Tenten

PS. Wait. If you're able to joke… it… went well…?

**Sunday, October 8**

Tenten,

Not one hundred percent positive yet. Hiashi-sama has said he needs to have a meeting with elders. It does not matter that he is the head; the elders are still just as powerful as he is and possibly even more powerful if they all hold the same opinion.

But he is on our side now.

Neji

_**Sunday, October 8. Haruno to Uchiha.**_

Sasuke-kun,

It was nice meeting Itachi! He seemed a lot scarier back when he always had his Sharingan activated and when he was always using genjetsu and glaring. He does seem like a very sweet older brother type; I'm happy that you two are reunited!

Although, it does strike me as odd that Naruto and Itachi get along so well. I'd think they would hate each other… but Naruto does have a kind of bromance going on with you, so I suppose he likes Uchihas.

Sakura

**Saturday, October 9**

Dear Neji,

REALLY?

You and your use of words… I can't even… holy crap, all this is just settling down perfectly like that?

…Why are you not with me right now then, mister?

Love, Tenten

_**Saturday, October 9. Uchiha to Haruno.**_

Sakura,

Please kindly refrain from mentioning any kind of a "bromance" relationship I may have with the dobe. We are simply friends and rivals.

The Akatsuki are still in Konoha until they receive word that Hiashi will leave Neji and Tenten alone. Though complete idiots, they seem to be insistent on keeping their word.

Sasuke

_**Saturday, October 9. To the Hyuuga elders.**_

_ While I know it is my duty to ensure the secret of the Byakugan is forever sealed, I would like to propose that Hyuuga Neji and his girlfriend may raise their children not only away from the clan but without any interference._

_Hyuuga Hiashi_

**Sunday, October 10**

Tenten,

Hiashi-sama will be meeting with the elders periodically and I will be staying at the Hyuuga manor until this is all resolved. I will be with you soon, I promise.

Sakura tells me today is the day that you can go home. Apparently your spontaneity has caused a rapid recovery. That is the woman I fell in love with, no doubt about it.

Neji

_Sunday, October 10. Zetsu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Hey, the Yamanaka flower shop is a very relaxing place to take a nap and scare some customers. You guys should try it._

_Sunday, October 10. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Nah, spending my time in the aquarium and scaring children seems to be the best environment for me._

_Sunday, October 10. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_There's a really nice boutique here… Pein, I need more money._

_Sunday, October 10. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_These two idiots, Gai and Lee, will buy anything that's green and stretches. I'm going to get so rich._

_Sunday, October 10. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

…_I'm just going to assume that our black cloaks and red clouds no longer symbolize fear and destruction._

_Sunday, October 10. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Some kid ran up to me, called me 'Ino' and hid himself under my cloak, un. I was annoyed until I realized it was Tobi, un. Now I just feel violated._

_**Monday, October 11. From the Hyuuga elders.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ Besides the obvious risks, what about the promise you made Hizashi-san?_

_ The secret of the Byakugan cannot be leaked outside of Konoha, and we cannot take any risks._

_ We have already relented to your request that Neji be allowed to pursue a relationship with an outsider. You may be the head of the clan, but do not abuse your power._

**Monday, October 11**

Dear Neji,

So how are things?

The past couple of months I've always been so bored at home by myself. I mean, I can only obsessively clean and polish and cook so much, you know? But now every day, I feel like I don't have enough time. It's either playing or feeding or cleaning up after or cooing at or singing to or changing diapers or something else. I mean, I have help, of course. Hinata, Sakura, and Ino always come over.

I'm worried about Akemi's cheeks. I keep pinching them because they're just _so_ adorable. I'm worried they're going to stretch out or something… I'd pinch Satoru's, but he's learning your glare fast. Of course, I've developed an effective anti-glare, but I don't pinch his cheeks. I tickle his stomach and he giggles.

Love, Tenten

_**Monday, October 11. Yamanaka to Nara.**_

Shikamaru,

Little Hyuuga Neji wants to learn how to play shogi. Of course, we tried. I was the best at it, so that says a lot.

Ino

_**Tuesday, October 12. To the Hyuuga elders.**_

_ Neji and I have had a serious discussion, and he has earned my trust and confidence. _

_ He is the son of Hizashi as well as the prodigy of the Hyuuga clan. I have no doubt that he would easily give his life to protect his children and the secret of the Byakugan; Neji can easily perform the seal necessary before death to make the Byakugan ineffective upon death, but the children cannot. (2)_

_ Neji, more than anyone, understands familial ties and loyalty. He grew up despising the main branch after the death of his father, yet he has never betrayed the clan or made any attempt. That shows his fierce devotion to both the clan and his father. We all know how stubborn he is. He loves this girl; everyone can see it, and he loves his children. He will not let anything happen to them._

_ I understand that I made a promise to Hizashi to always keep the secret of the Byakugan safe. However, I made one another promise to him, one that we both held in higher regard. It was that I would ensure Neji's happiness. I was misled into thinking that if I could keep Neji sheltered within the boundaries of the Hyuuga clan, he would be fine and grow up, satisfied with an elite position in the clan, even as a branch member. However, I began to see that Neji's happiness does not lie within the clan. It lies with Tenten. _

_ If Neji's happiness requires the slightest possibility of leaking the secret, I will gladly break one promise for the other._

_**Tuesday, October 12. Nara to Yamanaka.**_

Ino,

And the kid still wants to play? I'll stop by tomorrow and teach him.

Shikamaru

_**Tuesday, October 12. Yamanaka to Nara.**_

Shikamaru,

Actually… you'll just have to play him. I was explaining to him how there are two sides and he won while I was talking. I didn't know it was possible to win in one move, but he made it happen…

As expected from Hyuuga Neji.

Ino

**Tuesday, October 12**

Tenten,

Hiashi-sama is running into slight difficulty with the elders. However, I can only be thankful that he is no longer sticking to his decision. Although, I can't help but feel like he has been planning this from the start… as if he was toying with me…

Of course, Hiashi-sama wouldn't do that.

I am glad that Akemi and Satoru are well; I miss them already.

Neji

P.S. Of course, I miss you as well.

**Wednesday, October 13. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

Do you need any help? It's already been devastating to both the Akatsuki and Konoha to have them wander around. If not, they should probably leave in a few days. If not, they will stick around.

Oh, Deidara wishes to fight you. Since he says he is banned from fighting either me or Itachi, he wishes to fight the prodigy of the other powerful clan in Konoha.

If you do accept, he isn't terribly difficult to deal with. Lightning… oh, you don't use lightning based attacks. Er…

Oh, if you talk about Tobi, he seems to get distracted pretty easily, as he goes into his own world and begins ranting. Or you can talk about art and how you agree with Sasori. That distracts him too.

Uchiha

_**Wednesday, October 13. To Inuzuka.**_

Kiba,

Can you stop by someday? Akemi and Satoru saw you and Akamaru walk by the other day and they flipped out and almost pulled my pants down asking what Akamaru was.

…Guess that wasn't the best mental image. Don't comment on it, or I'll send Neji after you.

So yeah. Introduce your dog to my kids? Sound good? I'll feed you.

Tenten

_**Wednesday, October 13. From the Hyuuga elders.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ We are surprised at how a speech from Hyuuga Neji has caused you to completely change your stance._

_ We understand that in some way, the main branch owes Neji a favor; it will never leave our conscience what we allowed Hizashi to do. However, protecting the secrets of the Byakugan will forever be the main priority of ours._

**Wednesday, October 13**

Dear Neji,

Good; if you missed them but not me, I would be incredibly saddened.

Ino brought something up. It's not major but…

Because it really doesn't matter.

…

Are we going to…

You know…

I guess we could continue living this way but…

…You know?

Love, Tenten

_**Thursday, October 14**_

Tenten,

Sure thing! I'll bring Akamaru over; he loves kids. You need me to bring seats to attach to Akamaru's back so that Akemi and Satoru stay on? If they fall off, Akamaru will probably be able to catch them, but just in case.

Kiba

**Thursday, October 14. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

Hiashi-sama is speaking to the elders. I am not sure how everything is going to turn out, but I believe it is looking good…

But with Hyuugas, you can never tell.

I need you to keep Tenten busy. I don't care if it's you or the Akatsuki. She needs to stay busy and keep her mind off of me.

Hyuuga

_**Thursday, October 14. To the Hyuuga elders.**_

_ I have the utmost faith in both of them. I have raised Neji as if he were my own and I have met with Tenten several times. She is a very sweet, responsible, driven kunoichi. Once she sets her mind on something, she will achieve it. She will stop at nothing to protect the ones she loves._

_ They are happy with each other. They need each other, and for a child to be raised without one or both parents will ultimately have detrimental effects on them in the future. _

_ As the head of the clan, I am to have the clan's best interests. As the brother of Hizashi, my main concern is ensuring Neji's happiness. Between familial ties and clan loyalty, I choose familial ties._

_ I choose making Neji happy over protecting the Byakugan._

_**Thursday, October 14. To Yamanaka.**_

Ino,

I kind of brought up the moving in together thing with Neji but… he hasn't answered…

I'm getting really worried. Did I do something bad? Oh God, what if I scared him off? What if he thinks I'm trying to move too quickly? Oh my God, it was a horrible idea. Oh God…

Tenten

_Friday, October 15. Pein, to Tenten._

_Tenten-san,_

_ We will be spending the day with you today. We will pick you up in five minutes._

_Pein_

_**Friday, October 15. To Uchiha.**_

Sasuke,

The Akatsuki is coming to kidnap me in five minutes.

You better be there.

Why are you having me kidnapped? What did I ever do to you?

Tenten

_**Friday, October 15. To Inuzuka.**_

Kiba,

I'm being kidnapped.

Sorry, but could we reschedule to tomorrow? Trust me, I'd decline, but it's the Akatsuki. You know how they are. Tomorrow, noon? I'll make you a full three course dinner.

Tenten

_**Friday, October 15. From the Hyuuga elders.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ We will deliberate._

_ We will notify you and Hyuuga Neji in three days time._

_**Friday, October 15. From Hiashi's room.**_

_Neji,_

_ They are deliberating; I can only hope for the best._

_ I have attached something. I trust you remember._

_Hiashi_

_Saturday, October 16. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_We dug a tunnel. We created an elaborate plan. We took a girl out on a date. What. The. Fuck?_

_Saturday, October 16. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_It was all part of the mission. We can now go home in a few days. After we get our fill of ramen and terrify a couple more children._

_Saturday, October 16. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_I left Tobi at the Academy, un. He seems to fit in. Is it okay to leave him there, un?_

_Saturday, October 16. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Of course not! Poor Tobi, what would he do by himself?_

_Saturday, October 16. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_Konan, you never cared about Tobi until now._

_Saturday, October 16. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_I was busy getting angry at Pein all those other times._

_Saturday, October 16. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yeah we're going to be here for a while. Itachi and Sasuke are still bonding. Sasuke's got a pretty big bruise on his forehead…_

**Saturday, October 16**

Dear Neji,

Umm. Please disregard the last letter. I'm so sorry for being that blunt about it; it's totally fine, I swear! Just ignore it, pretend I never said anything!

Please talk to me again.

The Akatsuki took me out to an amusement park yesterday. The Akatsuki are surprisingly good with children when they want to. Of course, a bunch of them favored Satoru at first because, well, daybreak, hello? But Akemi started to cry so they gave equal attention to both.

You know, my view on the Akatsuki has flopped a hundred eighty degrees from eight months ago.

I like them better now. Tell Sasuke to tell them to visit more often. Konan is really sweet; I love talking to her! She's not really quiet nor excessively loud and she'll talk about fighting with me!

Okay, I'm done. I miss you. How are things going?

Love, Tenten

_**Saturday, October 16. Naruto to Hyuuga.**_

Hinata-chan!

You want to grab some ramen sometime? Things have been all tense with the Neji and Tenten situation (it's still going on but it's a lot calmer now) so I figured you'd be more relaxed to go out with me!

Naruto

_**Saturday, October 16. Yamanaka to Tenten.**_

Tenten,

Calm yourself! Okay, first of all, you guys already have two kids. Moving in together is not rushing it. In fact, you kind of did it in the reverse order.

Three days. October 19th and he still doesn't mention anything about it, don't worry girl, I've got your back.

Ino

**Sunday, October 17. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

Tenten woke me and Itachi up today by banging on the front door.

Smart girl, your girlfriend is. She realized that you probably told me to send the Akatsuki off to kidnap her. Unfortunately, I have no idea exactly why I was given that command.

She let the words 'move in together' slip. Is it really that? If you're worried about that, you really don't need to, I mean…

Oh. Right. Hyuugas.

Regardless, you should tell her soon. She's frantic.

Uchiha

**Sunday, October 17. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

Thank you for telling me. Yeah, Hiashi-sama has already given me keys (I've talked this over with him.) I'm waiting for the, hopefully, approval of the Hyuuga elders before I tell her.

If possible… keep her calm for just one more day. I know it's hard.

Hinata-sama came into my room and asked how to impress a male.

Tell Naruto to make sure she enjoys her date. To make absolute sure.

Hyuuga

**Monday, October 18**

Dear Neji,

Okay, okay, okay.

I know you never liked desperate girls. But this is absolutely killing me. See, I would've come to find you by now, except I'm scared of you slamming the door shut in my face. I can take many things, like seeing you with two holes through your body, but I cannot stand rejection from you.

I've seen enough dramas to know what's going to happen next.

The dramas I watch don't have happy endings either.

Love, Tenten

_**Monday, October 18. From the Hyuuga elders to Hyuuga Neji.**_

_Hyuuga Neji,_

_ We follow the rules. That is part of the Hyuuga clan's tradition. We are to keep the secret of the Byakugan and to make sure nothing gets in the way of that, because it is one of the biggest weapons Konoha has. Hyuuga Hiashi has shared the same opinion with us for as long as I can remember._

_ But somehow, you have managed to convinced Hyuuga Hiashi, the most stubborn man we have ever dealt with (please don't tell him we said that.)_

_ We have never allowed a Hyuuga to have a relationship with someone outside of the clan. You may wonder why you are allowed to date Tenten-san, but it is because Hyuuga Hiashi persisted in allowing you to pursue a relationship. He was convinced that it was good for you, and we have to say, it was. _

_ We have never allowed a Hyuuga child to be raised outside of the clan. Whenever there was a pregnancy between a Hyuuga and a non-clan member, that child was to be aborted immediately. This was different in your case, as your relationship was known and approved of._

_ Ever since your father died, we, the main branch, have held a certain sense of guilt. We will never be able to properly apologize, for no words will be sufficient. However, Hiashi-sama has said that he puts your happiness above the clan's secrets. And we will have to agree, as it is the least we can do._

_ We hope you have a wonderful rest of your life with Tenten-san; she is a sweet girl and the two of you would make an excellent couple. We wish you the best._

_**Monday, October 18. From the Hyuuga elders to Hiashi.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ We have granted your request._

_ Don't think this will become a daily occurrence._

**Monday, October 18**

Tenten,

Everything will be okay.

Attached are keys, along with the address.

I'll see you there.

Neji

_**Monday, October 18. To Yamanaka and Haruno.**_

We're moving in together we're moving in together we're moving in together we're moving in together oh my God I'm starting to sound like you two.

Crap.

Tenten

_Tuesday, October 19. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Ready to leave Konoha, everyone?_

_Tuesday, October 19. Itachi to all in the Akatsuki._

_I propose bimonthly trips._

_Tuesday, October 19. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yeah, me too! Hot mother fucking bitches here!_

_Tuesday, October 19. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yes, quite a profit._

_Tuesday, October 19. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

…_You dirty, cock-sucking pile of…_

_Tuesday, October 19. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Really, I'm the dirty one?_

_Tuesday, October 19. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_I agree, un! Cheap clay here. And easy to get rid of Tobi here, un. Lots of dango shops._

_Tuesday, October 19. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_You make it sound like Tobi was the only one insisting on going into every dango shop in the village, brat._

_Tuesday, October 19. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Now that you're a human, danna, I have to expose you to all kinds of dango, un. Next week will be different types of bakudan._

_Tuesday, October 19. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Anyone seen Zetsu? Or is he still talking to flowers in the Yamanaka flower shop?_

_Tuesday, October 19. Zetsu to all in the Akatsuki._

_You wouldn't understand… __**Unless you were us…**_

_Tuesday, October 19. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Where's Tobi?_

_Tuesday, October 19. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Back at the base, un._

_Tuesday, October 19. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_How is he back there already…?_

_Tuesday, October 19. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_Bombed him back, un._

**Tuesday, October 19. Uchiha to Hyuuga.**

Hyuuga,

So?

I've realized that in these past eight months, I look forward to hearing updates about your situation.

Uchiha

**Wednesday, October 20. Hyuuga to Uchiha.**

Uchiha,

Glad to hear that.

The elders have agreed to let Tenten and me raise Akemi and Satoru together, as well as move in together, since that only seems natural now.

I have to admit, I was surprised by Hiashi-sama. I always found it odd that I was allowed to have a relationship with Tenten without too much opposition, but it turns out it was because of Hiashi-sama's doing. I feel slightly guilty for the rude tone of my earlier messages to him…

Hyuuga

_**Wednesday, October 20. Yamanaka to Haruno and Hyuuga.**_

Okay guys. Neji and Tenten are moving into a new house.

Guess what this means?

LET'S DECORATE THE NURSERIES!

**Wednesday, October 20. From the Uchiha clan.**

Itachi,

You forgot your contact lenses here. As well as your glasses.

Hope you recognize which one is Kisame. If you let Deidara lead you around, I'm afraid there will only be one Uchiha left. Again.

Sasuke

_**Thursday, October 21. To all.**_

Hello!

I realized I haven't really properly thanked all of you. So I want to invite you all to my new place with Neji on October 30! We're still fixing everything up, of course, and the nursery is constantly busy with three worker bees. And I want to make this a late celebration for Naruto's birthday too (see, I didn't forget).

So, October 30. Casual dinner party. Bring food if you want, if not, be entertaining.

Thank you. Really. You have no idea how much this means to me.

Tenten

_**Thursday, October 21. To Hyuuga Hiashi.**_

_Hiashi-sama,_

_ I wish to thank you, again. Not only for convincing the Hyuuga elders to allow me to continue to be with Tenten, but also for allowing me to date her in the first place. I never had any idea; I am sorry for my tone in earlier messages._

_ Tenten and I would like to invite you on October 30 to our home for a casual dinner party along with everyone else. All the Konoha 12 are invited as well as the jounins, Hokage, Akatsuki, and miscellaneous other people. _

_ If you are busy, we understand. You must have had to sacrificed something to get approval from the elders. But if you could make it, we would be happy to have you._

_ Thank you again._

_Neji_

_Thursday, October 21. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Itachi, no need to poke people's faces until you find Kisame. We are to be back in Konoha for a dinner party at Hyuuga Neji and Tenten's new home on the 30__th__. Sasuke will most probably be there so you can retrieve your glasses._

_Thursday, October 21. Kisame to all in the Akatsuki._

_Pein-sama, Itachi can't read right now._

_Thursday, October 21. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Well then, read the message to him or something._

_Thursday, October 21. Hidan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Party? What the fuck? What are we, civilized shinobi?_

_Thursday, October 21. Kakuzu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Free food…_

_Thursday, October 21. Zetsu to all in the Akatsuki._

_Lots of people running around… waiting to be eaten…_

_Thursday, October 21. Deidara to all in the Akatsuki._

_The more bodies… the bigger bang, un…_

_Thursday, October 21. Sasori to all in the Akatsuki._

_I've been needing more shinobi…_

_Thursday, October 21. Tobi to all in the Akatsuki._

_Yay! Cake!_

_Thursday, October 21. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

…_Maybe going isn't such a great idea._

_**Friday, October 22. Order to Yamanaka Flower Shop.**_

Types of flowers: orchids

How many: …Ask Ino.

When needed by: October 29

_**Friday, October 22. Order to Ikizo Groceries.**_

What is needed: every single fresh produce item you have available. I'm feeding most of Konoha as well as the Akatsuki here.

How many: Gee I don't know, look at Chouji! (Don't tell him I said that.)

When needed by: tomorrow, please.

**Saturday, October 23**

Dear Neji,

Went out to pick up the food from Ikizo. I'll be back soon; don't mind the girls upstairs, they're just fixing up the room. Akemi and Satoru should be napping right now under their supervision.

Love, Tenten

P.S. We're living together but still writing to each other… old habits die hard, hm?

_**Saturday, October 23. Uzumaki to Rock.**_

Hey, bushy brows!

Should we buy something to bring? You know, house warming gift?

The teme and Sakura-chan already found something, so I come to you! So what do you say?

Naruto

_**Saturday, October 23. Rock to Uzumaki.**_

Naruto-san,

Of course! There would be no greater joy than you allowing me to pick out a present for my blossom Tenten-chan and rival Neji! Also their youthful children!

Let us go! Tomorrow!

Lee

_**Saturday, October 23. From the Akatsuki.**_

_We would be honored to attend._

_I will try my best to control my members._

_Pein_

_**Sunday, October 24. From Hyuuga Hiashi.**_

_Neji,_

_ I will be there, along with the Hyuuga elders._

_ We look forward to it._

_Hiashi_

_**Sunday, October 24. To Yuhi.**_

Kurenai-sensei!

I need your help! I can cook, but this is way too much!

HELP ME, PLEASE.

I ONLY TRUST YOU IN THE KITCHEN.

Tenten

**Sunday, October 25**

Dear Neji,

We're never throwing a dinner party again.

Love, Tenten

_**Monday, October 26. Yamanaka, Haruno, Hyuuga to Akimichi, Nara, Uchiha, Uzumaki, Aburame, Inuzuka**_

We need your help…

We're moving stuff around but it's getting really tiring…

Please?

_**Monday, October 26. Aburame to Hyuuga.**_

Hinata-san,

So I am only called upon to move a crib?

Very well.

I would like to test my new termites.

Shino

_**Monday, October 26. Hyuuga to Aburame.**_

Shino-san,

A-actually, we're fine. We asked Neji-niisan to move things around; thank you for your help though!

Hinata

_Tuesday, October 27. Pein to all in the Akatsuki._

_Behave yourselves. Brownies._

_Tuesday, October 27. Konan to all in the Akatsuki._

_Your leadership is impeccable._

_**Wednesday, October 28. To Yamanaka, Hyuuga, Haruno.**_

The nurseries look… holy crap.

I loved Akemi's when I stepped in… a gorgeous pale pink wall, a rocking horse in the corner next to the crib with soft, white, fluffy blankets… soft animals everywhere, the music box, everything is perfect. Then into Satoru's… light blue walls, toy trains and cars on the floor, a teddy bear in the crib that he has already deemed worthy of his love; everything about both rooms is amazing. I can't even…

You guys seriously did this while I was running around frantically?

You guys are amazing. Thank you so much.

Tenten

**Thursday, October 29**

Dear Neji,

Tomorrow's the big day. Ready?

Love, Tenten

**Thursday, October 29**

Tenten,

With you? Ready for anything.

Neji

**Saturday, October 31**

Dear Neji,

I'm so tired from last night; but it was so fun! You know, I never thought the Akatsuki could just mix in with people. But they can! They just keep surprising me every time I see them…

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, October 31**

Tenten,

I was surprised as well… I'm glad that everything is smoothed over with Hiashi. Was that the doorbell?

Neji

**Saturday, October 31**

Dear Neji,

Funny, I left out a box of candy…

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, October 31**

Tenten,

Forget it. Probably ran out. Doesn't matter.

Neji

**Saturday, October 31**

Dear Neji,

Does it amuse you that we're sitting right across from each other at a table yet we're still passing notes?

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, October 31**

Tenten,

Of course not. This was the majority of our communication for the past eight months.

Neji

**Saturday, October 31**

Dear Neji,

That is true. It's kind of weird how the biggest obstacle we've had to face we dealt with through letters, isn't it… I think I hear Akemi crying, I'll…

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, October 31**

Tenten,

Before you go, will you do something for me?

Neji

**Saturday, October 31**

Dear Neji,

Anything for you.

Love, Tenten

**Saturday, October 31**

Tenten,

Marry me.

Neji

**Author's Notes: Oh my. I think with every completed story, my endings get worse and worse; the opposite of most writers. I think this is the quickest I have **_**ever**_** finished a story. **

**Thank you for reading this story. I believe this was an idea I had before I took that long on-off hiatus of about 2-3 years, and I'm so glad of everything I chose to actually write this one. Thank you for all your reviews, drop one last one before you leave? Thank you for reading again!**

**(1) Credit to DannTheLemonadeMan; I just added in the idea but didn't actually incorporate it because I had a feeling I would be set aflame if I killed anyone off.**

**(2) I know that the Byakugan is sealed off when a branch member dies so technically Hiashi's fear is illogical. But for the sake of simplicity, let's assume the Byakugan can still be analyzed in a branch member if he dies unless he does some kind of a seal before dying.**


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